Published on 12, July, 2020
I have difficulty with emotions. I think the main danger is I tend to find myself trying to escape uncomfortable feelings by punishing myself. Why can’t I realise I am powerless over my autistic responses, my hypersensitivity my being easily overwhelmed. To summarise: I fear making life harder for myself because I cannot read the basic typical benevolence of the Universe and I go to the most negative paranoid interpretation. Getting unnecessary revenge then leads to consequences.
You just have to learn more about yourself and your autism, and not beat yourself up over it. If you read a situation and automatically go into the most paranoid interpretation, at least you are aware of that now, and then instead of punishing yourself over it and spending your energy doing that, just verify if those paranoid interpretations are true or not, which would still require a lot of energy to do, but at least you'll get an answer for it, which is that often times the paranoid interpretations are not true. It is just hypersensitivity most of the time, which means the environment you're in is not comfortable for you, and then do what you must do to take care of yourself the best you can.
Beautiful reply: thank you so much. You have been extremely helpful. Your words are part of that benevolence and they feed my trust in All.