Published on 12, July, 2020
This is going to be another slightly ranty one. Sorry. Is anybody else just tired? It feels like there is this massive weight on my mind stopping me from getting anything done and I don't know how to remove it. I know how to work, I know how to get started, I know what I need to do but I just can't. There are a thousand things, I need to worry about and problems I need to solve and I know the only way to solve them is to just get started, the longer I leave it the worse it gets, but I just can't. I am just extremely tired. In the final year of my degree, I was just tired all the time, I only turned up to the lectures, did the minimum amount of work required to work, and tried to sleep all of the time because I just couldn't work. I am just tired. I know I need to get up in the morning, and get things done and if I do that consistently then that might solve all of my problems but I just can't and I don't know how to fix it. I think this is preventing me from getting a job as I am just tired and short with people so not very likeable and finding it a hard time dragging up the effort to just care. I might have ADHD as I am just utterly incapable of focusing, but that hasn't seemed to affect my ability to do well in my degree. Which is extremely lucky of me. I know I need to go to the doctors but I just can't. I don't know what to say and I can't research what I need to say as I just get bored when reading stuff and just immediately switch off. I went to the doctors because I thought I was autistic and then they said oh just so you are aware you probably don't because most people get diagnosed in school, and i'm like really mate. Thank you for that. Maybe if I had been diagnosed in school I would have actually been given help, and been able to make friends and know that I am not alone. I thought the purpose of doctors was to just listen and try to help you, not try and minimise your problems. Even after that I just got a letter saying a diagnosis will take 2 plus years you are on a waiting list. I know there are ways to shorten it, like doing right to choose whatever that is but I am just finding a hard time actually doing it, if that makes sense. I just can't. I am just so very tired, and I can't relax because I know I need to get a job but I just can't because there a thousand rules I am probably breaking and being unemployed is going to make it harder to get a job in the future, but I just can't. So that's me, I am just tired, all the time. Any help is greatly appreciated, preferably all condensed down into short form as I have a hard time reading it, as I easily get bored. Thanks.
Have you been to the doctors about being exhausted, had thyroid issues or vitamin deficiencies etc ruled out?
Yes, those tests (thyroid, vit D, etc) and many more.
There is no doubt that being autistic can be very draining in itself (especially if you use masking), but why now do I feel so fatigued where as before I was doing fine?
It sounds like you have got yourself stuck in a rut. I remember after I finished school it took me about 10 months before i went and got a job and in that time I just sat in bed watching TV and sleeping almost every day. Do you feel depressed at all?
I started with small steps. I got a little 12 hour shift and built up from there (very slowly) and the more I did the more energy I had...well for more than a decade it worked. Now I feel tired all the time again.