Couldn't even do the tasks

Thanks guys, I feel relieved but I was worried because I could not do many of the tasks given to me. I went to the assessment without any prep and I guess that was the best way to do it.

omgosh this is so me

I need a lot of 'alone-time' to recover from social exhaustion, which was a little hard on my family when I worked full time. If I knew something particularly stressful was coming up at work, I would book the day after off as a holiday, so I could recover.

Masking is automatic for me too, although it breaks down a bit when I’m tired.

The problem is for the last three years I’ve been chronically exhausted and I am told masking is a big part of the reason for that.

I think that my masking is as much part of me as my autism. If masking is not causing you distress and helps in social situations, then unmasking is not an advantage, and could be disadvantageous. My masking is automatic, it causes me no distress, it just leaves me very tired if I have to keep it up for too long. Therefore, I have made no attempts to unmask. However, my willingness to put up with situations that do cause me distress has diminished hugely following my diagnosis. I now recognise that my distress is genuine and just because a situation causes no problem for neurotypicals, it does not mean that I should attempt to put up with it.

At some airports, if you report to the disability support desk they will loan you a sunflower lanyard, or if you have your own, the people controlling the security queue will recognise the lanyard and shunt you from the long 'general queue' to a shorter faster-transit queue. I found it quite useful as I can get quite agitated when in crowded situations for any length of time.

Ditto. I got a report and was sent on my way. I’m still trying to figure out how to process it or change my life.

What’s this about airport security?

That would include me. I know all the literature and social media influencers keep going on about masking being a girl thing but I began masking in childhood and perfected it in my early 20s.

My assessors told me to try not to mask but I didn’t even know how I would do that!

What?! IQ is not part of the assessment process in either the DSM or ICD diagnostic manuals. It seems to me that some clinical bodies are just making things up as they go along.

how does one know they are happy except they feel less anxious !

I actually said "lack of tension and anxiety" when they asked me to describe happiness! I don't know how else to describe it.

I got my diagnosis, by the way, and I suspect you will too. Whether you can do the tasks or not is less important than the way you approach them and how you react to being asked to do them. For example, I did the tooth-brushing task just fine- but not before asking the assessor a lot of questions about how specific they wanted me to be, whether they wanted MY method or just a generic one, etc. They're looking at behaviour, not right or wrong answers.

The idea that autism assessors are gatekeeping a cornucopia of benefits is not convincing to me. I have received exactly zero support of any kind since my diagnosis in 2021. The only practical benefits I have had from my diagnosis is an ability to use disabled toilets without feeling guilty, and access to a speeded up security check at an airport.

But that would tend to exclude the many autistic adults who have a lifetime of perfecting masking behind them, especially females. 

I was exactly the same.

I must get so many different feelings and I have no idea what they are I just know that I feel overwhelmed when I'm feeling them

You defos aren't alone with this I think so many here can understand it :) 

I’m very much a concrete actions and solutions sort of person, not a feelings person.

Feelings aren't facts.

Of course there are the Cute so-and-sos who intentionally act disabled; to claim benefits.

This is why therapy doesn’t work for me. They keep saying “and how does that make you feel?” and I keep saying “I don’t know!”

Apparently it’s called alexithymia and very common for autistic people.

She asked what happens internally when I feel happy or sad, and I was like I can't even express that... how does one know they are happy except they feel less anxious !

I had forms to fill in too, but the form wasn't too lengthy. 

That’s the ADOS test which is usually a standard part of an autism assessment. It’s a collection of weird tasks and talking, primarily to let the assessor see how you interact snd behave.

That was only one part of my assessment though. I also had a 2 hour initial interview, an IQ test, a thick pile of forms and the assessors also separately spoke to two people who know me.