Published on 12, July, 2020
I went to my first concert in August 2022 - Westlife at Wembley Stadium. A choice for my first concert but I intended to make a day of it in London and meet friends (which didn't go to plan).
I've just come back from my second concert - JLS at the Birmingham Utilita Arena. Very different circumstances from the last one; no friends and my confidence level is as low as it can be. I did wear my sunflower lanyard this time.
I think in both cases the fear of judgement got the better of me. I was able to bob side to side, clap and mouth along to the song but I didn't let myself dance.
Getting caught up in those big crowds when leaving was hard - it's this part I wish I had someone with me for. Also walking through town on my own at night - I can appreciate how scary it can be for women/femme people.
I know I can do it but I think just for my own safety and comfort I'd prefer people with me.
I remember when I was 18, I had to go for this job assessment day thing. I had to wear a suit, make notes about sales, and it was like a 12 hour day. Came home and was pretty upset, insisting that I have someone with me next time I have to go for a job interview or something.
I'm mixed with it. I don't always need company, but I know now the value of it. I'm awkward enough on my own, it's worse when I've got more to think about.
Yeah, just in a reflective mood. I'm glad I did it though, it was nice to have my annual night out (!).
Well done for going despite feeling stressed. I'm glad you managed to go.
I've been to one live concert before to see Take That. I didn't enjoy it, there music was sensational but the volume of people and the noise was unbearable. I had to leave before the concert was even halfway through. I do all my concert watching on YT now, it's safer for me.
I intend to go and see Take That next year but I hope it's a bit less overwhelming.
I hope you find it a better experience than I did. I wasn't in a good place mentally either, I think that was a factor I didn't originally realise.
Yeah I think if I was in a better place I would have gotten more out of it. I'd had so much baggage and I don't think one evening out was ever going to help but I knew I wasn't going to be doing anything else that was very productive.
HMO said: I went to this because I just needed to do something nice for a change
That's good you should do nice things for yourself. That's why I went to the Take That concert as I'd been in a bad place. Though it didn't go as well as I had hoped it would I did enjoy it prior to my meltdown.
That's where I've been. The last 6 months have been the worst in my life and I scared away every friend I ever had. I went to this because I just needed to do something nice for a change. I guess I didn't realise how it would feel.