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Late diagnosis and employment

aimosan

I was about 22/23 when I was diagnosed (not officially, only because there were no services anywhere near me that did diagnosing for adults), but by that time I had gone through school and the workplace putting on a brave face feeling like any issues I had could just be 'overcome' the more I tried.  I've had no problem getting jobs, mainly because I work hard and will take anything that is paid work.  I ended up taking a retail job because I felt I needed to learn more social skills, but even after 6 years I still couldn't understand the point of 'small talk'.  Now that I've been told that the way I am is not wrong, it's because I'm autistic, everyting in my life makes sense and I'm now not afraid to be who I am meant to be, not what others are trying to make me.

As being a typical aspie girl I enjoy my own company (but I do like having select people around me who don't make me feel uncomfortable, which is not many people), good attention to detail, strong interests, etc.  I love science and problem solving, and it's taken me some time to admit that, because I felt as being a female I had to like working in retail and watch things like Big Brother and Coronation street is what I had to do to fit into society.  But, with all the bullying I endured in school, and with the years of my teachers calling me disruptive and stupid, I've lost all confidence.  I was told never to apply for university as it would've been a waste of time for me.  But, now I believe it was the 'telling the fish to climb a tree situation'.  You're telling the fish to climb a tree, something it obviously cannot do, so the fish then believes it is stupid and useless because it cannot climb this tree.  But it's not meant to!  I can't believe so many people called me stupid in school.  I might not be able to write essays very well, but bring up a conversation about astronomical units, the periodic table, the Higgs Boson, or electron atom orbital structure, and I will talk for ages.

I shouldn't really complain, as I am in a job now.  I work on an IT helpdesk.  But, the main problem is I have to answer the phone a lot and fix computers.  I've realised I'm only in the job because I can do it, not because I like it, and answering the phone all day and constantly around people so it makes me not want to go to work sometimes.

I'm 26 now.  Is it too late to investigate something else?  The problem is I'm fascinated with most things to do with science so it's hard to focus on only one thing, but as I was diagnosed later on in life I feel like I should just keep my brave face on and just try and cope with this job the best I can, but I really want to challenge myself.  But, I feel the pressure of society whispering 'stay with your "proper job"'.  My line manager knows about the autistic issues so I really only cover the phone when other staff are on holiday now, which helps a lot.  But I'm still in that 'I should be normal' frame of mind, and I don't like accepting help, even though I need it.

Is there a job where I can read quantum mechanics textbooks and do chemistry experiments all day?  lol.  I wish.

  • I'm envious! You might never find a job where can read quantum mechanics textbooks and do chemistry experiments all day, but never give up hope. The Open University is a good place to start. They offer support to AS gifted people, and it's a good way to put your toe into the university world without having to socialise. In fact I should be reading up Module 4 in my Mathematical Statistics course just now, but I think that's going to have to wait till tommorrow. Individuals who have done well well on the first year of Open University have used their marks to achieve very high things, including moving on to Oxford or Cambridge. 

    Back to the books though, have you looked at Roger Penrose's book The Road to Reality? Or if you want to follow the maths up try The Theoretical Minimum by Susskind, whose lectures are available on You Tube as well www.youtube.com/playlist

  • I didn't go to university until I was 21, and going through university education, and since as an academic, I've met many mature students. Often you do better if you are older, because you have a reason to study and improve. You know what life is like. Many school leavers have trouble seeing the point, and don't try.

    The main set back for mature students is it can be lonely. Because it is very hard to socialise with school leavers, not least as they'll catch you out with any hint of "when I was your age". But if you're on the spectrum you're already used to doing things independently and may be surprised at how much more friendly students are even if you are a little different.

    Like you I was bullied at school, mainly because I could be "managed" to reach a meltdown with entertaining results. I was very awkward and clumsy and bad at sports and didn't come over well. So I was cast to fail, and my confidence was zapped. My initial experiences on the job market were grim, with longer gaps between jobs.

    Confidence is the key. I'm convinced of that. Certain things in my life helped, and I've an inclination to experiment with problems rather than avoid, so I developed coping strategies and gradually improved my confidence. Unlike you however I did not get diagnosed until mid-50s. By which time I was an ageing and cynical lecturer, although I believe, and am told, I was a good teacher.

    So I'd certainly encourage you to try for further qualifications. If you are reluctant to give up work try open university (the modules are quite tough though) or part time study. Or try an unconventional route combining work experience with HNC/HND or Foundation Degree.

    Your main barrier these days is the fees, and cost of living. Yes you can get a loan and pay back on the never never - these days supposedly you don't have to pay back until your earnings reach a certain level, which is why many graduates don't try.