Published on 12, July, 2020
This is a bit of a heavy question, but have any of you found that you don’t grieve normally?
My dad died of Covid at the height of the delta wave, a week before the vaccinations started. Everyone around me was upset, crying at the funeral etc but I felt nothing at all and have never grieved. For me he was there and now he isn’t. The only thing I feel is disappointment in myself for not being more upset.
But I have since read that autistic people may not experience grief in the same way as neurotypicals. I can’t help likening it to the way I forget to speak to family and friends for months at a time. If people aren’t physically in front of me I don’t really think about them very much.
Ironically, I’m 100% certain that my dad was autistic too. He was a remarkably unsentimental man who would probably be irritated that I worry about this.
I haven't lost anyone who has passed away but I have friends I've lost from my life which I consider a form of grief.
I've been really numb to it. I feel sad but I haven't allowed myself to really feel and express it, and I do find myself feeling a lot more techy and frustrated than normal.
I have lost so many friends too, although I’m not sure they really were friends.
The main feeling I’ve always been left with is confusion with a small tinge of hurt, because I never know why they stopped being my friends.
I get that too. In this case it was all at one time which was horrible. I did something stupid which was the catalyst so to speak, but it doesn't make it any easier.