Published on 12, July, 2020
This is a bit of a heavy question, but have any of you found that you don’t grieve normally?
My dad died of Covid at the height of the delta wave, a week before the vaccinations started. Everyone around me was upset, crying at the funeral etc but I felt nothing at all and have never grieved. For me he was there and now he isn’t. The only thing I feel is disappointment in myself for not being more upset.
But I have since read that autistic people may not experience grief in the same way as neurotypicals. I can’t help likening it to the way I forget to speak to family and friends for months at a time. If people aren’t physically in front of me I don’t really think about them very much.
Ironically, I’m 100% certain that my dad was autistic too. He was a remarkably unsentimental man who would probably be irritated that I worry about this.
Amerantin (former member) said:have any of you found that you don’t grieve normally?
Same here - there is a common issue for autists where they do not connect well to their emotions resulting in us seeming neutral almost all the time with the occasional bout of anger or fear which are much more accessible emotions at a primal level.
The condition is called Alexithymia and is worth reading up on as you are far from alone in this.
Note that with it being a spectrum condition then we experience degrees of this so no two autists will be identical.