Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello,
I was chatting to an acquaintance of mine about how I was struggling with unmasking and wanting to understand my masking behaviours better.
She mentioned that I should read the "PHQ-9", as a lot of the new questions gave insight into masking as they relate more to what's going on inside you than your behaviours.
I tried g**gling it but the PHQ-9 is a psychometric for depression. I thought maybe she meant the AQ50 but I couldn't find anything that looked like a new test (I've done the AQ50, I usually score on the borderline because it's impossible to answer the behaviour-based questions accurately with any of the 4 options you're given.)
Incidentally, when I tried to contact this person I got the wrong person with the same name who said they would also be intetested to know! They confirmed that they had heard of some new better questionairres.
So does anyone know anything about some new autism psychometrics?
Oh I am self-diagnosed for 2 years and formally diagnosed for 1 year.
Hi . This is not a test about autistic experience as such but it is the Monotropism Questionnaire.
https://dlcincluded.github.io/MQ/
It is not an autism test but a very good indicator of whether you might be autistic as we autistic people are very commonly monotropic.
I was really looking for a test with questions that provide insight into the internal processes behind masking but thank you.
Jamphrey said:I was really looking for a test with questions that provide insight into the internal processes behind masking
Masking is not a very complex thing - it is just how we evolve a way of behaving that allows us to stand out less and get more done.We observe how others act, we note how out actions have effects and try to move our behaviours to have the desired effect. Acting in other words.We do it to be seen as normal typically, or to have less of an impact from our natural behaviours (eg to make people feel less uncomfortable around us).
Can you be more specific about what you want to understand please?
You are absolutely right thank you. It's the fear that's holding me back, and I think I actually feel a kind of terror. That is the thing. I've been planning to use stalling techniques in person but I still haven't managed it and I think that's because I'm scared. I am taking baby steps to take a little risk, and then another. But I do think it would help to do through this with a therapist, and role play would be fantastic. I think I will make another attempt at a referral. Thank you so much Iain.
I hear you but I don't think I had an assumed normality to hold on to. From about the age of 3 I was trans in a socially conservative area in the 80s and 90s. I'm not someone who's really ever passed as normal for the majority of my formative years anyway. Everyone knew I was strange. I don't know, the more I talk about it the more confused I get.
Jamphrey said:When I act, I feel absolutely free, and it is the only time I know for sure that I am unmasked; that's because there are no stakes, it's not real, there are no consequences to be scared of.
Then for you the difference is the risk - both involve you puting on a different persona but only i has a risk of consequences.
Jamphrey said: It happens automatically, without my permission, without my having any control over it, but only around people I don't feel entirely safe or comfortable around,
Here there is risk - you are masking on subconcious level to protect yourself from harm, judegement or some undesirable outcome.
I think you now realise the why, and you also know the how, and if you can keep your awareness of the situation in your mind then when you see it happening you can decide whether or not to go with the masking or chose a different act to give.
Awareness is the key - after you can feel it happening then you have the option to stop and modify the behaviour - if you can overcome the fear of that change.
I would use some stalling techniques in the conversation (eg saying "let me think about that for a minute" while you adjust the mask) then pick up the conversation again with you as the modified character - one truer to who you want to be.
You have not lost control of it, you are just not yet brave enough to make the change, to take that risk and risk being seen for who you are. That fear or rejection or worse is what is most likely holding you back.
If you need to, get a therapist to work you though it and roleplay some scenarios - it can be very useful.
I should probably add for context that I really like people. People are my special interest. So truthful and connected social interaction often feels exhilarating and fun. A lot of the stuff about observing people and modifying my behaviour just feels like progressing in my special interest. I used to not think I was allowed in the autistic club because i considered myself to be amazing at social interaction. It's only now I realise that I have a lot of problems. For me it's very complicated to pull all these threads apart.