Published on 12, July, 2020
This is mainly me just venting and most probably oversharing, I know it’s thought that meltdowns are uncontrollable with autistic people, I grew up in the 70’s and 80’s when it would have just been seen as ‘bratty’ behaviour and severely dealt with. I learnt to know when things were too much and channeled feelings into a shutdown, it was less noticeable, not talking for days was just looked at as sulking.
For the first time in a long while, I couldn’t stop a meltdown, it was all from allowing other people to ‘push my buttons’, I’m dealing with the sale of our house at the moment, the questions from the buyers solicitors have been non stop, I did my best to answer everything, my wife then had an appointment at the hospital which was sudden as someone else had cancelled, I didn’t have time to prep for a large waiting room full of people with no sound deadening. The final part of the day was another round of questions from a solicitor and then being told by a family member, “ why do you overthink everything?” The house was empty of people later in the day, I can’t remember much but looking in the wheelie bin, I need to buy some new crockery, at least only crockery was hurt.
Thank god *you* weren't hurt (not physically anyway, mentally it's stinging). You've got a bunch of massive stressors all together at once, not surprising you're buckling under the strain. Comments like that are not helpful. House sale is horrible at the best of times, and solicitors not something you can really stall or put off for a bit. Plus the whole upheaval of a new location & house looming.
Me too (70s & 80s) You'd have got a clip for the slightest infraction. Me too on the sulking, I was referred to as 'sullen' and punished for it. I'm not sure I'd interpret it as allowing people to push your buttons (as if you're at fault - you're NOT), NTs would be going off the deep-end dealing with so much at once, so for an autistic person, doubly triggering. Sounds like tempers are frayed at the moment, especially with your wife having to go to hospital.
How're you getting on this morning, can you get a breather yet from the house stuff? How's your wife doing?
Hi, my wife is okay, she has had a bleed behind one of her eyes, it was being treated until the doctors strikes which meant she had no appointment for 2 months. She has now had a large bleed and lost sight in the eye, angiogram next week and then laser treatment. That’s why the emergency appointment was so important and short notice.
Mums in the 70’s just knew how to pinch the skin under an upper arm and in public make it look like nothing was happening. House moving is very stressful, we are moving over 200 miles away to Cornwall. We are having a weekend off from house issues, I had a pre booked barbers appointment this morning, that hasn’t helped matters to be honest.
I hear you. To some it might sound trivial but having haircuts is really stressful and can send you over the edge, everything about it is wrong somehow. It's something you never get used to, or should I say, become okay with. I dread it weeks before an appt is looming!
Sorry about your wife's situation with her eye, sounds nasty and painful, things like that can be life-changing if they can't be remedied. I've moved an even greater distance in the past, so I understand what a logistical nightmare it is (many many many meltdowns!). Cornwall sounds like it will be worth it though in the end. I think we all dream of Cornwall! or somewhere very similar!
Sending good wishes to you both , hope you manage to take your foot off the gas for a little while and get your breath back.