Published on 12, July, 2020
My life is falling apart. I am a delusional, broken failure.
A lot of struggle and failing which also led to a lot of self loathing and hatred.
Single most of my life, just been made redundant and the whole unmasking (AuDHD) at 45 isn't any fun.
I have friends, which tbh, makes the whole ending it even harder. But they will leave me / forget me soon enough. I just need to deactivate my FB account and just stop socialising.
Life sucks so much and it is unfair.
I am apparently very intelligent, but that doesn't' help. Some say I am pretty, but that doesn't help either.
Dear NAS80873
I’m sorry you are going through such a tough time, it’s good that you’ve let us know what’s happening/how you feel. Many people have similar thoughts when coping with so much and we hope you’re okay.
If you are unable to cope with the distress or despair, it’s very important to tell someone about your feelings or thoughts of suicide. Call your GP and make an urgent appointment. Your GP can make sure you get appropriate help and support.
If it’s outside your GP hours call 111 to reach the NHS 111 service:
https://www.nhs.uk/nhs-services/urgent-and-emergency-care-services/when-to-use-111/
The Samaritans also provide confidential non-judgemental emotional support, 24 hours a day on 116 123, or by email on jo@samaritans.org.
MIND have information pages on coping with self harm or suicidal feelings based on the experiences of people who’ve been through it that you may find helpful.
If you are very close to doing something to hurt yourself - call 999 now or go to your nearest A&E department. There should be someone there to support you and make sure you get ongoing support.
You can find more information here:
https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health/suicide
Kind Regards,
Rosie Mod