I just want it all to end, but I am also scared of dying. Feeling trapped

My life is falling apart. I am a delusional, broken failure. 

A lot of struggle and failing which also led to a lot of self loathing and hatred. 

Single most of my life, just been made redundant and the whole unmasking (AuDHD) at 45 isn't any fun. 

I have friends, which tbh, makes the whole ending it even harder. But they will leave me / forget me soon enough. I just need to deactivate my FB account and just stop socialising. 

Life sucks so much and it is unfair. 

I am apparently very intelligent, but that doesn't' help. Some say I am pretty, but that doesn't help either. 

Parents
  • Hi, my son suffers from depression and it's awful. Have you seen a doctor or psychiatrist? Please keep going.

  • Medicating or drugging myself won't make my life any better. And I am on meds, I reduced them though. It won't make a difference. I tried to get away from that company for years and failed, even on a much higher dose of meds. I reduced them before I've been made redundant. I have been single most of my life on higher doses of meds too. Can't see how that would make a difference. 

  • What would make your life better?

  • Thank you for replying. I can empathise with that. For years I worried where I was going to live long term because I was renting privately and unemployed. I would also like to find love although I don’t know whether I would be able to cope with living with someone.

    If you have just been made redundant won’t you get a redundancy payment? It won’t last forever but should give you a temporary breathing space.

    You say you have been single most of your life. Does this mean you have been in a relationship at least once?

Reply
  • Thank you for replying. I can empathise with that. For years I worried where I was going to live long term because I was renting privately and unemployed. I would also like to find love although I don’t know whether I would be able to cope with living with someone.

    If you have just been made redundant won’t you get a redundancy payment? It won’t last forever but should give you a temporary breathing space.

    You say you have been single most of your life. Does this mean you have been in a relationship at least once?

Children
No Data