Published on 12, July, 2020
My life is falling apart. I am a delusional, broken failure.
A lot of struggle and failing which also led to a lot of self loathing and hatred.
Single most of my life, just been made redundant and the whole unmasking (AuDHD) at 45 isn't any fun.
I have friends, which tbh, makes the whole ending it even harder. But they will leave me / forget me soon enough. I just need to deactivate my FB account and just stop socialising.
Life sucks so much and it is unfair.
I am apparently very intelligent, but that doesn't' help. Some say I am pretty, but that doesn't help either.
You're feeling overwhelmed right now. I know it's easier said than done,but try to be cautious about making assumptions about your friends. I doubt they would be happy about your distress or soon forget you if you left them, it's likely the opposite - they'd more than likely be distraught and wishing you'd let them know. Perhaps try letting someone know how you're feeling.
I've thought about suicide many thousands of times, but I'm also terrified of a botched attempt and where that could lead, and petrified of dying itself. I try to remember that something just might, might, be ever so slightly different tomorrow, so try to hold on.
Very few people have no money worries, and it's never too late to find love! Being pretty and intelligent are two great attributes that can definitely help in that direction! Hang in there.