Published on 12, July, 2020
My life is falling apart. I am a delusional, broken failure.
A lot of struggle and failing which also led to a lot of self loathing and hatred.
Single most of my life, just been made redundant and the whole unmasking (AuDHD) at 45 isn't any fun.
I have friends, which tbh, makes the whole ending it even harder. But they will leave me / forget me soon enough. I just need to deactivate my FB account and just stop socialising.
Life sucks so much and it is unfair.
I am apparently very intelligent, but that doesn't' help. Some say I am pretty, but that doesn't help either.
Hello 80873, I am Number.
I know VERY clearly what you speak of. You write with a very resonant tone. It reminds me VERY precisely how I was feeling at 45. The self loathing was all consuming.
God - it is frigging horrible. It is SO SO tough.
Many of us here know what you speak of because we have travelled through it. Forgive the phrase.....but it REALLY SUCKS A SS !!
Perhaps the important thing for you to note, is that many of us here are still here.....years and decades past those nearly unbearable times.....and we are much happier because we have "realised" a way that we can make things work either a) bearably or b) better.
Stick with it sister. Message me anytime.
With great warmth and attempted reassurance,
Number.