Published on 12, July, 2020
Most of my life i have never been able to recognise when someone likes me, be it male or female, frienship or romanticly. As i have got older i do recognise this better. Also, i never gave marriage a thought. I just didnt think it applied to me. It was never something i considered.
I also didnt know that i was good at anything. I have always given 150%. This of course has been exhausting. If i couldnt do it well, then i wouldnt want to do it.
Only in recent years have i recognised these traits. Nothing has changed, except i understand myself better.
Are these typical traits for autistic people? X
Your first paragraph is the story of my life. I think this is where apparent "lack of confidence" can come from. I've mostly felt confident, it's just I can't read things in the moment or even know for sure upon reflection. I often can't tell where i fit on the continuum of knowing someone. As such, I've always erred on the side of caution.
I've learned as ive got older if someone takes their time for you it means they like you. I mean this in terms of friendship. The newest people to come into my life have been straight up which makes life a lot easier. I didn't know I was liked in certain aspects of my job or by my in laws until I was told outright.
It isn't about wanting people to like me. They can take me or leave me. It's always been about understanding a situation and then knowing what I'm working with. A very neurotypical friend once said to me "feelings are usually mutual". I understand more about myself now. I know I'm a likeable person. Now I understand this I can enjoy interactions more.