Published on 12, July, 2020
Most of my life i have never been able to recognise when someone likes me, be it male or female, frienship or romanticly. As i have got older i do recognise this better. Also, i never gave marriage a thought. I just didnt think it applied to me. It was never something i considered.
I also didnt know that i was good at anything. I have always given 150%. This of course has been exhausting. If i couldnt do it well, then i wouldnt want to do it.
Only in recent years have i recognised these traits. Nothing has changed, except i understand myself better.
Are these typical traits for autistic people? X
I think it's a common experience, yes.
I didn't realise until I lost all of my friends (cos I did something really stupid) that they genuinely did like me. I kick myself daily for not realising it.
Someone travelling 120 miles just to spend time with me isn't doing so if they didn't want to or they were indifferent towards me at best. Someone isn't telling me they love me if they don't feel that way at that time.
A boss at work isn't telling me that I'm a popular member of the team if I wasn't... you get the gist.
I think I was afraid of admitting it. I didn't want to have an ego and I was afraid it would all disappear.
I think it was really hard to believe unless the person verbalised it clearly. I can't really do hints and they cause more stress than they're worth.
Tulip52 said:I also didnt know that i was good at anything. I have always given 150%. This of course has been exhausting. If i couldnt do it well, then i wouldnt want to do it.
I kept putting pressure on myself that everything needs to be better than the last. It wasn't sustainable and I didn't feel any better.
I look at my peers, former colleagues. I feel like I've been left behind cos they've gone on to bigger and better things. That feeling is also exhausting.