Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello,
My entire life I have struggled with friendships especially making and maintaining them, I never know what I am do wrong to lose them but whenever it does I always get really sad. Currently, I have no friends and it has been making me really low and I've been having a lot of depressive episodes at the moment. My mum suggested that I write on here for advice. So if anyone has advice on making friends that would be great.
I saw people on the community page asking for penpals and I thought I would give that a go if anyone is interested here's some information:
Hello, my name is Libby. I am a 23 year old girl from the UK. My hobbies include: reading, painting my nails (if that counts) and doing anything and everything creative. I'm also into anything "nerdy" like Marvel, Star Wars, comics, anything like that. So if I can sound kind of interesting say you're interested in the comments and I'll probably send you a message or something!
Hopefully that info gave some of you an idea of what I'm like. Anyone can "sign up" regardless of age, gender and place in the world. I don't know how we'll write to each other just yet. We could write on here or email or even write physical letters!
Like I said, just leave me a comment if you're interested (or have any advice) and let's start talking!
BYE!!
I'm in a similar situation to you. I've recently came out of a long term relationship and have found myself with no friendships outside of the relationship. It's crushingly lonely. Especially being in your early 20's (i'm 23 as well) it feels like there is an expectation that this is the time when you should be out making 'mistakes' with a large group of friends or whatever. I never understood this societal view, I'd be happy with a small group of close friends that you can feel comfortable with.
I recently asked my own mum for advice on how to make friends, she said the following: "to make friends you need to be a good friend". It resonated with me. If you come at an social interaction from a place of being a good friend (or simply a kind stranger) then i suppose it'll give the other person permission to be themselves and show you themselves. From this, you can gauge if theyre someone that you'd like to pursue a friendship with, or if you like them at all. But it is difficult, to make that first social contact, to know what the hell to do or how to act. But i think, from my point of view, im going to try the "just be kind, and be a good friend" approach.
Anyway, I hope some of that helps or makes any sense at all. It's a scary, confusing and lonely world, but you're never as alone as you feel in the worst moments.
Take care,
Euan
awww. Thank You so much for this. And what you said really about the expectations about being in your early 20s is way too true.
I would try and be a kind stranger but I am so painfully awkward and I think I would just embarrass myself honestly. Maybe I'll try if I get a boost of confidence or something.
I will think about what you said though. Take care!
Yeah it is difficult when you don't have the confidence. I mean i'm saying this but I know in myself i too don't have the confidence like that. Not yet anyway, but it's a skill we work on.
I'd be open to be a penpal if you'd like. I'm a bit nerdy myself, specifically enjoy dr who and some marvel (though kind of dropped off marvel as of late, theres so much content its hard to keep up). I also like to hike and be in nature as much as I can.