Confusion and Lonliness

Since I was a young teenager I was confused if people told me off when I wasn’t trying to do anything wrong. I tried to make friends, but often they were more interested in what each other were doing. If I tried to get involved they either criticised me or just ignored me if I felt unhappy. These experiences made me feel like I didn’t fit in and especially if people walk past me without saying hello. But they would to others. My family often told me it might be that I look angry or they just don’t know what to say and this makes me very uncomfortable and feel like I’m an alien or something. In later years I became more and more isolated to the point I spend most of my time in my bedroom because I’ve become really afraid of people and growing up, I’ve been told that issues are all just in my head, which makes me feel like I’m crazy. I usually listen to music and I’ve tried to reach out on social media because the interaction on there is different. But that’s caused problems as well because some people don’t like my posts and that’s encouraged me to delete them and try and post something I know that they’re more interested in and that in turn has just made me feel sad. I feel like I’m just sitting on the fence watching the world go by and it’s so depressing. And admittedly I’ve had times of feeling suicidal when my family then get stressed out and I have to be on watch. Does anyone else go through these kind of situations as well?