Published on 12, July, 2020
Since I was a young teenager I was confused if people told me off when I wasn’t trying to do anything wrong. I tried to make friends, but often they were more interested in what each other were doing. If I tried to get involved they either criticised me or just ignored me if I felt unhappy. These experiences made me feel like I didn’t fit in and especially if people walk past me without saying hello. But they would to others. My family often told me it might be that I look angry or they just don’t know what to say and this makes me very uncomfortable and feel like I’m an alien or something. In later years I became more and more isolated to the point I spend most of my time in my bedroom because I’ve become really afraid of people and growing up, I’ve been told that issues are all just in my head, which makes me feel like I’m crazy. I usually listen to music and I’ve tried to reach out on social media because the interaction on there is different. But that’s caused problems as well because some people don’t like my posts and that’s encouraged me to delete them and try and post something I know that they’re more interested in and that in turn has just made me feel sad. I feel like I’m just sitting on the fence watching the world go by and it’s so depressing. And admittedly I’ve had times of feeling suicidal when my family then get stressed out and I have to be on watch. Does anyone else go through these kind of situations as well?
Hi Sam :)
Thanks for your post.
I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. It sounds like you might be in education and are still living at home, so probably that means you are mixing with people sometimes? Are you on friendly terms with your family who you live with?
It can be so confusing trying to interact with other people, because you don't know the right things to say or how to say them - what other peoples reactions might be, etc.
Reaching out on social media is a nice idea, because it can give you a bit more time to think through what you want to say, like on a forum like this.
Everyone here is friendly so I encourage you to keep on posting and saying Hi in different threads that you find interesting. :)
Yes, I still live at home but am not in education. I’m currently getting financial help because I haven’t worked in over 2 years now, due to severe anxiety. But at the time my diagnoses hadn’t been revealed, so everything about me was underlying. I have mixed with people in these circumstances and that’s been stressful too. My family and I are close in heart, but all are very different people, so all are quick to misunderstand me and judge me at times. Thank you for your support. :-)