Is it just me or can anyone just not stop grieving

For me the unhappiness I experience at the time of loss is so horrible that I simply don't want it to be my dominant memory.

I decided therefore when The Bestest Cat in The World passed on, that I would create in my mind a "ghost cat" in my imagination, who "turns up" from time to time in my life. And he does. Right now I can imagine (not see) him on the floor looking u at me as he used to and I reach down and stroke his insubstantial ears, and it's almost like I can feel them, my hands remember the movements that he particularly likes, and I keep him alive in my memory most importantly remembering the really nice bits... 

I do the same for Maqi too, but he doesn't "appear" to me as often as BJ. 

Oddly enough my real, solid, in this world cat who does like to sit on or near me an awful lot simply will NOT go to the place in the crook of my arm that BJ made his own. He prefers to snuggle up in a completely different place, even two years into living with us...

But really, it's all just me asking my subconcious to keep the good memories refreshed and alive and stronger than the feelings of loss.

I had ten brilliant years years of BJ and six of Mackie (BJ was about 5 when we got him according to CP and they didn't actually know, Maqi should have gone on way longer, but he came with a heart murmur and got a thrombosis at six... BUT most of what I really remember about Maqi is how he really disliked me when he first came here (but loved my partner, and she loved him, She was for love, and I was for violence initially) but gradually warned to me,  but oh so carefully kept me in my "place" MOST of the time, with increasing bursts of affection and less actual violence as he got older...  I knew I was getting on the right side of him when he stopped drawing blood...

I do accept their passing, but will NOT focus on the sadness and loss of that passing, and the ghost cats my subconcious gives me from time to time, are a very good way of remembering the good times. 

For me the unhappiness I experience at the time of loss is so horrible that I simply don't want it to be my dominant memory.

I decided therefore when The Bestest Cat in The World passed on, that I would create in my mind a "ghost cat" in my imagination, who "turns up" from time to time in my life. And he does. Right now I can imagine (not see) him on the floor looking u at me as he used to and I reach down and stroke his insubstantial ears, and it's almost like I can feel them, my hands remember the movements that he particularly likes, and I keep him alive in my memory most importantly remembering the really nice bits... 

I do the same for Maqi too, but he doesn't "appear" to me as often as BJ. 

Oddly enough my real, solid, in this world cat who does like to sit on or near me an awful lot simply will NOT go to the place in the crook of my arm that BJ made his own. He prefers to snuggle up in a completely different place, even two years into living with us...

But really, it's all just me asking my subconcious to keep the good memories refreshed and alive and stronger than the feelings of loss.

I had ten brilliant years years of BJ and six of Mackie (BJ was about 5 when we got him according to CP and they didn't actually know, Maqi should have gone on way longer, but he came with a heart murmur and got a thrombosis at six... BUT most of what I really remember about Maqi is how he really disliked me when he first came here (but loved my partner, and she loved him, She was for love, and I was for violence initially) but gradually warned to me,  but oh so carefully kept me in my "place" MOST of the time, with increasing bursts of affection and less actual violence as he got older...  I knew I was getting on the right side of him when he stopped drawing blood...

I do accept their passing, but will NOT focus on the sadness and loss of that passing, and the ghost cats my subconcious gives me from time to time, are a very good way of remembering the good times.