This is the first time I’ve posted on here. I’m acting a bit impulsively as I’m really panicking.
I’m 47, waiting for a psych U.K. assessment, reading up as much as I can on autism and I feel like my grip on my lived experience is slipping away. I’m questioning everything. I’m going over past experiences that I thought I understood and questioning my version, I’m wondering how much I’ve missed in social contexts and worrying how people perceive me. And I can’t begin to reframe what’s happening in my head without knowing if I am actually autistic.
I haven’t spoken to my elderly parents about any of this and usually I talk to them about everything. I’m worried that they won’t believe me or that they might realise that they might be autistic too. I have a strong feeling they both are and I don’t want them to have to go through this unsettling experience.
My adult son thinks that he is autistic too but doesn’t have an interest in getting assessed as he feels it doesn’t affect his life much.
I think I’m feeling separate, isolated and lonely and just need to know that other people have felt like this.