Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi,
I’m a partner of a 49 year old male who was diagnosed a couple of years ago. He’s highly fuctional but I’m wondering if anyone else experiences the same thing. May partner seems to want a discussion on everything for ages. For example, the latest one is, our daughter who is 10 no longer wants to go back to Cubs after the summer break. I see that has a normal thing as kids grow, they change interests with different things. However, my partner has to analysis what reasons. My partner is fixed on commitment- all or nothing! I get so frustrated. I know it’s how he sees things but if I want to change my mind, even the little things he gets upset and we end up arguing. I’m dyslexic so I want to describe things well to get my point over but I struggle find the right language. Basically he likes to challenge decisions based on commitment. The thing is it how he need to unpick everything even when me and our daughter don’t see it as a big deal. We just spent a hour talking about her quitting cubs and part of that was her other hobbies.
Some people are just argumentative and relish the verbal sparring.
Some people are "all-or-nothing" commitment-philes.
I'm, not sure that it necessarily matters whether you are, or are not autistic, neurotypical or a badger!
I believe that, sometimes, arguing can become a habit, rather than a philosophical need. Perhaps keep watch for a while and see if it has become a habit for your partner. If so, you can probably point it out to them in the hope that you will calm it down.
Personally, I am a lot like your partner.......but I can be reasoned with by people who know how to handle me.
Good luck (I left Cubs when I was 9 btw)