Published on 12, July, 2020
Good morning everyone,
I would like to ask if some of you may have similar problem and may offer some advice/ tips about how to manage it.
I am a mum of 5 years old girl. She is just starting her year 1. I have huge, unbearable anxiety about school drop off and pick up. I have stomachaches, nausea, diarrhea and more. My daughter's school is quite big. It currently has 331 students and school run is something that makes me really ill every day. It's difficult for me because there is so many people there: children, their parents and often their siblings too. I just came out of crisis. Last year in around April time I had to put my daughter to childminder setting in the morning and after school to bring my stress level down. It was expensive and also it's not available now because the childminder can't do it anymore ( her daughter just started different school and she can't offer my daughter drop offs and pick ups anymore). When I was in crisis from about May, I struggled to even drop my daughter off to childminder and pick her up.The childminder was closed for 2 weeks because she gave a birth to her baby son. School have been so brilliant to come and pick my daughter up and drop her off last week of school every day. Also my daughter's teacher and classroom has changed which gives me additional anxiety. Please does any of you have similar experience? How do you cope?
Any advice will be very much appreciated.
Thank you in advance.
Hi,
Thank you lain for your reply and the link to government regulations. I had a read through and you are right nothing is there against children walking to school alone. I also had a read through my local council documents about the topic and there is a statement there that all children regardless of age should be accompanied to and from school safely by parents. I am confused now and stressed. I have managed finally to call my local breakfast/ after school club yesterday but they are full and the only thing that they can offer me is to put my daughter on the waiting list.
Unfortunately, I haven't managed to talk to school. I freeze whenever I go there and loose my voice too. I go completely mute. I always get that in the most undesirable moment. I have no idea how to bring this matter to them even they knew the situation briefly last school year as they were picking her up and dropping her off for a week. I just freak out.
At the moment I am trying to find alternative childcare, who can provide school pick up/drop off as I can't live like that. The school year has just started and day by day it's getting worse. Yesterday I pooped myself before the drop off and I cried after dropping her off. Then I had to take long shower to calm myself down. I had thoughts to cut myslef but I have managed not to do it. I have mowed the grass instead. I could barely eat or drink all day from unbearable stress until I got her back from school. I felt so sick. On the way to pick her up I have been arm battered by other parent with his child because the path is so narrow and there were so many of us. I thought I am going to die from anxiety. I took my daughter and quickly run off. And it's like that day after day, after day.
I am sorry to moan.
Many thanks to you all
Nana1318 said:Unfortunately, I haven't managed to talk to school. I freeze whenever I go there and loose my voice too.
Have you tried emailing them? You can ask for the email in a call which should be easier as you are not asking for anything surrounding your condition / needs.
If they ask why you want the email just say you have trouble with verbal communications for more than a very short time - that should stop them asking more.
You can then take time to detail your situation and needs and how they can help.
Do you have any other family member of friend who can step up and help you with the call / discussion? With the nature of you condition it makes a lot more sense for someone else to be the mouthpiece in this situation if practical.
One other possible angle I thought of is if your daughter has any good friends at school who pass your way on their trip to school - could they be persuaded to pick your daughter up from the doorstep (no need for you to interact) and drop her off after school?
Nana1318 said:I am sorry to moan
Don't be sorry. The cPTSD makes each and every trip a renewed trauma for you, beyond what most of us suffer in out entire lives in many cases. The fact that you can stil so it is incredible.
Remember this when you feel terrible - you are not a bad person.