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Unbearable Anxiety about school run

Nana1318
over 1 year ago

Good morning everyone, 

I would like to ask if some of you may have similar problem and may offer some advice/ tips about how to manage it. 

I am a mum of 5 years old girl. She is just starting her year 1. I have huge, unbearable anxiety about school drop off and pick up. I have stomachaches, nausea, diarrhea and more. My daughter's school is quite big. It currently has 331 students and school run is something that makes me really ill every day. It's difficult for me because there is so many people there: children, their parents and often their siblings too. I just came out of crisis. Last year in around April time I had to put my daughter to childminder setting in the morning and after school to bring my stress level down. It was expensive and also it's not available now because the childminder can't do it anymore ( her daughter just started different school and she can't offer my daughter drop offs and pick ups anymore). When I was in crisis from about May, I struggled to even drop my daughter off to childminder and pick her up.The childminder was closed for 2 weeks because she gave a birth to her baby son. School have been so brilliant to come and pick my daughter up and drop her off last week of school every day. Also my daughter's teacher and classroom has changed which gives me additional anxiety. Please does any of you have similar experience? How do you cope? 

Any advice will be very much appreciated. 

Thank you in advance. 

Parents
  • over 1 year ago

    Good evening to you all, 

    Thank you for your advices. I read it all carefully and thought about it. 

    1. 'Get someone to take her to school' - I am afraid there is no-one who could possibly do it. My parents died years ago and all my family live very far away. My boyfriend works from 7:30 until 5 p.m Monday to Friday (he is often back way after 5 p.m anyway due to traffic) and his mum works too. 

    2. 'Go early' - school gates open at 8:30 and if they are running late with opening them or someone decide to go early then all parents and pupils are stuck in very narrow pathway or on the pavement by the main entrance and I am expected as a parent to take her to her classroom and drop her off there... Going early for me then would mean that I have to manage being in crowded place for longer. 

    3. 'Teach your daughter to be safe and let her walk to school'- similarly as point 4, I am not sure what are the rules now. As far as I know children have to be accompanied to/from school by an adult. 

    4. 'Go part way'- I am not sure if I am allowed to do it. As far as I know all children has to be dropped off to school by an adult/ person 16 years+. I am not sure what rules are about it really. 

    5. 'Drive'- I am unfortunately a learner driver and I cannot drive on my own. Also my daughter's school has really small car park and parents are not allowed to park there. Parents who drop their kids off by car have to obtain permit for a car park in town which is about 7-10mins away from school and then walk. 

    6. 'Talk to school about my difficulties'- I think that I will have to try to do that somehow.. but do you think school will be ok with it? I have a formal c-PTSD diagnosis but I haven't got a formal ASD diagnosis. The only thing I have are letters from psychiatrist assessment confirming my previous PTSD  diagnosis and ?ASD plus GP referral which was refused by ASD team because I am under care of CMHT. I am going backwards and forwards between professionals about it and I am not sure if the school will be able to help without a formal diagnosis? 

    Thank you very very much for all your replies. It really means a lot to me. 

  • over 1 year ago in reply to Nana1318
    Nana1318 said:
    6. 'Talk to school about my difficulties'- I think that I will have to try to do that somehow.. but do you think school will be ok with it? I have a formal c-PTSD diagnosis

    I think this is your best bet - the PTSD diagnosis is all you need to give your needs some weight. Hopefully you won't need to go through the pain of sharing this with them if the point below works out:

    Nana1318 said:
    As far as I know children have to be accompanied to/from school by an adult. 

    There is no government requirement for this from what I can see so if there is anything it must be from the school. I looked up:

    https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/1165730/Travel_to_school_for_children_of_compulsory_school_age.pdf

    It will only require a simple email to the school to ask what their policy is for a child the age of your daughter.

    I'm certain older children will walk themselves and if it is allowed then you need to be comfortable that your daughter is taught good sense and safety protocols for the task. In my day it was the norm even from 5 years old for us to walk (I had about a 1.5 mile walk each way) so it cannot be that they are considered incapable.

    For your ASD diagnosis I would recommend going private in your situation if you think it will help you. It costs between £500 to £2,000 from peoples experiences on the forum.

Reply
  • over 1 year ago in reply to Nana1318
    Nana1318 said:
    6. 'Talk to school about my difficulties'- I think that I will have to try to do that somehow.. but do you think school will be ok with it? I have a formal c-PTSD diagnosis

    I think this is your best bet - the PTSD diagnosis is all you need to give your needs some weight. Hopefully you won't need to go through the pain of sharing this with them if the point below works out:

    Nana1318 said:
    As far as I know children have to be accompanied to/from school by an adult. 

    There is no government requirement for this from what I can see so if there is anything it must be from the school. I looked up:

    https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/1165730/Travel_to_school_for_children_of_compulsory_school_age.pdf

    It will only require a simple email to the school to ask what their policy is for a child the age of your daughter.

    I'm certain older children will walk themselves and if it is allowed then you need to be comfortable that your daughter is taught good sense and safety protocols for the task. In my day it was the norm even from 5 years old for us to walk (I had about a 1.5 mile walk each way) so it cannot be that they are considered incapable.

    For your ASD diagnosis I would recommend going private in your situation if you think it will help you. It costs between £500 to £2,000 from peoples experiences on the forum.

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