Published on 12, July, 2020
Neurosplaining...By analogy with 'mansplaining', I guess; the act of telling a neurodivergent person how they experience their neurodivergence.
A new word for my vocabulary today, but wondered whether anyone else had heard it before.
I can't claim any credit for inventing this new lexical item here, but I like it and yes it does nicely sum up some rubbish we hear from others (sadly, often professionals as frequently as friends and family). I just came across it in a post on LinkedIn from a psychologist and neuroinclusion specialist. It's made my day. So, I thought I'd share.
My doctor neurosplains me every time he tells me I "suffer with autism". Or tells me he regrets that "he cannot cure my autism".
Has anyone neurosplained you recently?
It bewilders me that anyone could think we are dangerous. Too much time judging and not enough time trying to understand us. I don't have an autism card, I have thought of getting one in the future.
Does your autism card specifically state you are not dangerous?
The one I bought from here https://www.autism.org.uk/shop/products/merchandise/alert-card states:
Autistic people sometimes:
Roy said:I work with autistic children and your nothing like them.
I work with autistic children and they're nothing like each other!
We're all individuals!
(I'm not...)
battybats said: The one I usually get is "but my nephew is autistic and you're nothing like him, so..."
Yeah, that one. Because my brother is autistic and was non-verbal as a child I was the 'normal' one who was just difficult and uncooperative...
We weren't alike, so...
Now I have three nieces who are autistic, and two who are not. They're all very different from each other.
People use the term 'on the spectrum' as a derogatory term, a lot of the time. It would be helpful if they'd learn what the word 'spectrum' actually means..
I had a very similar experience with my sister, she looks after 2 autistic boys after school, I told her why I think I’m autistic, she replied,” no I work with autistic children and your nothing like them.” The same reason as you gave, I'm not a child.
I know that took me by surprise, very hurtful to hear. I've since bought an autism card that states I'm not dangerous and need time to process things. Please be patient.
I thought it would be a sound thing to buy just in case.
Dangerous? Oh wow! That really is the hight of hurtful and ignorant.
So far I've had people say I don't look autistic and am I dangerous. I always feel judged around people.
Ugh. Yes. The one I usually get is "but my nephew is autistic and you're nothing like him, so..." as if the only way to be autistic is the one way they've already seen.
Of course I'm not like their nephew! I'm a grown woman, not a little boy! I'm not less autistic just because I don't behave the same way as a child.
Ironically even though said friend spent the whole video talking about me and everything I did wrong (I did screw up but that's a separate story), they defended me in response to that comment talking about how I would keep spreadsheets and things of my friends, which is clearly an autistic thing to do.
That said, it has still stuck with me and probably always will. The whole experience makes me feel like I'm using autism as an excuse.
Do you mean alexithymia is the new word?
I like that comparison.
It would be like being a firework with no gunpowder in it.
I've had that told to me as well. Another thing someone said before was "have you tried not being autistic?"
That's like telling someone to try not being blind
Lol. Well, new word on our lexicon, huh? Might catch on.
By the way, in case you hadn’t already realised your discussion has nearly 100 replies.
Glad to hear it (not literally)!
I will
God! Horrific
Enjoy your research deep dive, I hope you achieve a monotropic flow state!