After years of working myself up to go to the GP, I was denied a referral

Hello,

I haven't told anyone about getting a diagnosis, mostly because I am afraid of being wrong or their reactions. A few months ago I worked up the courage to go to the doctor after being terrified of getting help for over 6 years, to request a formal diagnosis. Filled out a really long form in which I scored likely to have autism, doctor herself said she thinks I'm ND, so we fill out this questionnaire together and she sends it off to the ASD team. A month later I find out I have some missed phone calls and see from my patient record I was denied a referral for not having enough traits despite having a 'high score'. They recommend getting a further appointment with the team for a further questionnaire and referral. I don't have the courage to pick up the phone and I've been struggling alone for years feeling like an alien. Every 'help' that is offered always requires phone call or verbal communication which I struggle to cope with. When I went for the initial appointment I couldn't get the words out of my throat and ended up crying in front of the doctor. Are there any resources where I can communicate with someone or get help through messages or email? And what should I do regarding the referral denial? I know private is an option but I doubt I can afford it and it still involves the whole process of communicating with people. I've been trying to get a formal diagnosis so I 'know' for sure and I can finally tell people and lift this weight that's been on my shoulders for several years, it gets so overwhelming I feel like I can't breathe sometimes. I don't want to tell people I have ASD and be self-diagnosed without an expert opinion.

Could I please have some advice or suggestions and has anyone else felt this way or had this experience?

 Thanks.