Published on 12, July, 2020
I wrote about this in response to another thread recently but thought it deserved its own.
I'm keen to recommend an approach I've been using to keep me feeling confident going in to any social situation.
Before entering the situation adopt a mindset of being kind.
Whatever is said to you, in whatever type of conversation, if you are, at minimum, intentionally kind in your responses then whatever happens you can leave the situation knowing you did a good job.
Of course this kindness could be ridiculed or taken advantage of, but even then,byour mins can be at peace and you can stand there safe in your very thick, very kind, suit of armour.
Try it, it works :)
I went to two kids parties this weekend with my son. Myper-stimulatimg and way too much to handle in general. But using this approach I navigated many conversations and left in secure peace of mind knowing I was kind to everyone I interacted with.
The armour of righteousness, integrity will keep you from despair, because you know that you are in the place you are unjustly. I used to think that the knowledge that I couldn’t go any lower, was what kept me alive, but really it was that I had established a fixed point within myself that I could make reliable measurements with..
If I knew I had done what I thought was right, then I was able to stay fixed, as my opposers probed for cracks and did the manoeuvring.
JT said:Well this went down like a fart in a wetsuit
Just so long as it isn't the odd bulge at the back of the wetsuit that is causing the social issues...
This is a good approach but one that requires a lot of energy in my experience.
When used in conjunction with a healthy dose of "don't give a cluck" about negative interactions then I found it most effective.
My approach used to be to respond with "good for you" when someone was being unpleasant and then move away from them to demonstrate that I would not tolerate their meanness of disrespect. These days I just give them a Paddington Bear hard stare and then move away from them to create more impact with the silence and without giving other people something to listen in on.
It takes time to become confident in it but works qutte effectively.
I think it's a good approach to have. Not so easy to do maybe.
I also try to be kind, honest, act with integrity...
I still don't fit in socially, never will, probably!
I've tried positive thinking before and was on medication for a while as well to try and make me calmer and therefore better at social interactions but neither worked for me.
Sometimes it feels like I'm destined to suck at being social and am meant to be alone. Next time I need to interact socially *shudders* I'll give it a try again but from past experiences I'm not sure it will be a success for me.
Well this went down like a fart in a wetsuit