Published on 12, July, 2020
Following a recent discussion I note that some people say they have learnt how to do eye contact. My question is how do you do it?
I have been asked if I am listening as the only way I can consciously try is by looking to the side of someone or looking at a nose or tie. If I look towards someone's eyes I feel like I am staring so then look away.
If I'm trying, I look at the space next to their head and occasionally force myself to make eye contact. It does make me feel uncomfortable and vulnerable, but I also get that thing of being worried that I'm staring. If I really tried, I could absolutely keep eye contact the whole time but I'm sure I'd seem like a psycho. There's some correct balance that comes naturally to NTs but not at all to me.
If I'm not trying (say if I was in a room with one of you IRL, or someone else I know wouldn't mind), I just look at the floor or wall.