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Am I the only one, or does this sound like you sometimes?

Maria (formerly NAS88629)
over 1 year ago

Hi, everybody. I'll try to get to the point without blabbering on.

I have not been formally diagnosed, but it's obvious. I'm a woman in my 50s and although I'm not particularly interested in social interaction, I *am* tired of being "the only one who_____" all the time. Anyone relate?

  • I have no desire for social interaction but I'm not unfriendly or grumpy.
  • I don't care what I wear (no interest in fashion) so I don't look like most ladies my age who like to shop. I don't look wild/bad or anything and I do get dressed lol. But I stand out as not like the others.
  • You'll never see me in heels or ladies' dress shoes. Why suffer?
  • I don't care if it's cold; I'll wear ski pants, big warm gloves, and hats in the winter while ladies my age wear fashionable stuff. I'd rather be warm.
  • I cut my own hair. It looks fine (simple long hair "style") and have no desire to do the crap most women do with their hair.
  • I've never had a mani-pedi and never will.
  • Believe it or not, I'm still considered "cute" somehow (so I've been told) but I have no interest in dating even if people ask sometimes. I have in the past, but been there, done that. Love being single.
  • I prefer to live alone but with animals.
  • Animals (dogs/cats) are my "people." I feel closer to them than humans. I grieve their loss as much/more than humans.
  • I do work and believe it or not, I am an entertainer who teaches and performs. I can be charming and fun, but it's from decades of learning how to flip the switch and be like that.
  • I do not go to places most people go (restaurants, bars, church, events). I go outside alone in nature (hiking, kayaking, etc.). I haven't been to an establishment for years because I don't enjoy myself there, and that's ok (too loud, too much stuff going on).
  • Considering my job (very public) people think I'm stuck up because they don't see me out and about in general...but I'm not. I just don't enjoy it and it's stressful.
  • I don't own a TV and keep my house quiet with the exception of occasional peaceful music.

Like I said, I don't need to be *around* other people like me. It would just be nice to know that there are some people like me, somewhere. It's hard not seeing oneself reflected in any way in the larger community. Does any of this sound like any of you? I'm not looking for personal messages or anything. Just a "yeah, me too" would be enough. 

Thanks

Parents
  • over 1 year ago

    Hello there, 

    Apart from the part about being in the 50's (I'm in my 30's) I relate to many parts of this list. I'd say I am exactly like 3/4 of the points you make. I don't understand many parts of being a woman eg. the shopping, the fashion, the hair cuts, etc. I am not interested in ever being in a relationship again because being single is *the best*. I'd 9 times out of 10 rather spend time with a dog than the dog's owner. 

    Are you interested in getting a formal diagnosis, or are you happy to just self identify? Both are equally valid, I just know I felt some relief when I got my official diagnosis. It felt quite validating. 

    Hope to see you posting more about your experience :) 

  • over 1 year ago in reply to Autumn_Trees

    Thank you, Autumn Trees! So true about the dog vs people...in fact, there have been many occasions where I'll run into someone I know and they'll be with out their dog. I'll get down to hang out with the dog at dog level and eventually I can tell I've done that too long without really talking to the person...weirdo me lol.

    Well, I'm not sure if you've seen my other comments about diagnosis, but in my state if a person is diagnosed, there is mandating reporting. My name would then be entered into a state health department database!! Sure, it's supposed to be confidential, but I know people who work in the health department. So it's not totally confidential. Not to mention that if, for whatever reason, I feel it was a misdiagnosis, it's basically impossible to get removed from The List. 

    So in addition to expense and difficulty finding an agency in my town that works with adults (closest is 200 miles away), I don't like the reporting thing.

    Thanks again for your response...lots for me to think about. Slight smile

  • over 1 year ago in reply to Maria (formerly NAS88629)

    Many a time I've said hello to dogs and not their walkers.

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