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Am I the only one, or does this sound like you sometimes?

Maria (formerly NAS88629)
over 1 year ago

Hi, everybody. I'll try to get to the point without blabbering on.

I have not been formally diagnosed, but it's obvious. I'm a woman in my 50s and although I'm not particularly interested in social interaction, I *am* tired of being "the only one who_____" all the time. Anyone relate?

  • I have no desire for social interaction but I'm not unfriendly or grumpy.
  • I don't care what I wear (no interest in fashion) so I don't look like most ladies my age who like to shop. I don't look wild/bad or anything and I do get dressed lol. But I stand out as not like the others.
  • You'll never see me in heels or ladies' dress shoes. Why suffer?
  • I don't care if it's cold; I'll wear ski pants, big warm gloves, and hats in the winter while ladies my age wear fashionable stuff. I'd rather be warm.
  • I cut my own hair. It looks fine (simple long hair "style") and have no desire to do the crap most women do with their hair.
  • I've never had a mani-pedi and never will.
  • Believe it or not, I'm still considered "cute" somehow (so I've been told) but I have no interest in dating even if people ask sometimes. I have in the past, but been there, done that. Love being single.
  • I prefer to live alone but with animals.
  • Animals (dogs/cats) are my "people." I feel closer to them than humans. I grieve their loss as much/more than humans.
  • I do work and believe it or not, I am an entertainer who teaches and performs. I can be charming and fun, but it's from decades of learning how to flip the switch and be like that.
  • I do not go to places most people go (restaurants, bars, church, events). I go outside alone in nature (hiking, kayaking, etc.). I haven't been to an establishment for years because I don't enjoy myself there, and that's ok (too loud, too much stuff going on).
  • Considering my job (very public) people think I'm stuck up because they don't see me out and about in general...but I'm not. I just don't enjoy it and it's stressful.
  • I don't own a TV and keep my house quiet with the exception of occasional peaceful music.

Like I said, I don't need to be *around* other people like me. It would just be nice to know that there are some people like me, somewhere. It's hard not seeing oneself reflected in any way in the larger community. Does any of this sound like any of you? I'm not looking for personal messages or anything. Just a "yeah, me too" would be enough. 

Thanks

Parents
  • over 1 year ago

    You are definitely not alone! I can relate to so many of those points! I only wear comfortable clothes, I hate shopping and the last new clothes I got my mum got me. I love nature and any outdoor sports especially hiking though sadly due to injuries I haven’t been able to do this the past years. I also cut my own hair (hate hairdressers and it just seems unnecessary as I can just trim it in 1 min myself). I only ever wear the same pair of trainers and try to get the same again when they break. I also don’t have a TV and have no interest in watching TV. I avoid restaurants. I do have a desire for social interaction but only with the right people and mostly 1 on 1 (i like going on walks with someone or phoning) and I need plenty of alone time too. My friends are likeminded and feel the same so no pressure to socialise regularly if it’s not the right time. I also know how to mask but it can be exhausting. I can relate to a lot of the points so you are not alone! 

Reply
  • over 1 year ago

    You are definitely not alone! I can relate to so many of those points! I only wear comfortable clothes, I hate shopping and the last new clothes I got my mum got me. I love nature and any outdoor sports especially hiking though sadly due to injuries I haven’t been able to do this the past years. I also cut my own hair (hate hairdressers and it just seems unnecessary as I can just trim it in 1 min myself). I only ever wear the same pair of trainers and try to get the same again when they break. I also don’t have a TV and have no interest in watching TV. I avoid restaurants. I do have a desire for social interaction but only with the right people and mostly 1 on 1 (i like going on walks with someone or phoning) and I need plenty of alone time too. My friends are likeminded and feel the same so no pressure to socialise regularly if it’s not the right time. I also know how to mask but it can be exhausting. I can relate to a lot of the points so you are not alone! 

Children
  • over 1 year ago in reply to Ann :)

    Thank you, Ann! Yes, the masking stuff...sometimes I feel like such a phony! My jobs are very public, and they require me to be very upbeat, personable, etc. And I *do* like my clients, so I'm not faking that. But when I've been interviewed in the past for my work, I feel like in the interview I'm going way overboard with expression and animation...then I see the interview and I'm basically monotone! So that tells me that I have to be way, way more animated than I'd ever be to be seen as just "normally" expressive. It's exhausting! I feel like I'm jumping around and my face hurts from smiling but in reality, I may even look underwhelmed lol. 

    However--I do feel that as a culture we are terribly ungrounded, especially children. I do feel that we need to teach ways to be calm and not so driven to be up up up. In fact, I do teach those kinds of things in workshops for children. 

    It's always fascinating how people love those workshops and the work that I do in that regard, yet shun those who bring that grounded quietness into the daily lives of adults. Why is it so cool with kids and then boring and nerdy as adults??

    Anyway, thank you for the moral support. I very much appreciate it!

  • over 1 year ago in reply to Ann :)

    Hello Ann :), 

    It's very much like me.