Could I be autistic?

Hi

I just wanted to get some views/advice, as I think I could possibly be autistic and am considering getting tested.

I am a 43 year old female.  I have struggled interacting with people all my life at school, work and anywhere else.  I have had very few friends and never had a relationship, but also never been bothered about this, preferring to do things alone or with my mum, however, at the same time I have always wished I was “normal” and have felt very lonely since my mum died almost 2 years ago.  I wish I could meet a person/people like myself, but have always felt and been treated like an oddity.  I know I can come across as rude/uninterested/unhelpful because of my quietness and people don’t have much confidence in me and get frustrated by me because of how I am.

I have rarely felt happy and have had a great deal of anxiety about everything for as long as I can remember, which has hampered my life a great deal and meant I have not achieved a lot of the things I should have done.

I also have other autistic traits such as having to arrange things perfectly, being ultra fussy about things, like having a routine, getting overwhelmed by a log of noise/activity/multiple conversations going on at once etc.

I always believed I was just shy/anxious/a natural loner/had social anxiety, but I am now starting to wonder whether it could be something like autism.  It is not something that was really picked up on when I was at school, which I believe was the case for many people who have been diagnosed as adults and I am therefore considering getting tested now.  I think what I am really wanting is to make sense of why I am how I am and whether autism could be the cause.

Does it sound like I could be autistic based on what I have said?  Obviously I realise there would be a great deal more to the testing but I would be interested in any initial advice/opinions.

Thanks for reading

x

  • It definitely sounds like there is a chance! My diagnosis very much came as a surprise to me as I was referred to getting tested after my therapist said that the way my anxiety manifests itself was a very common thing for autistic people. It was scary and a big shock when I finally did get the diagnosis, but since then I have reflected back on my life and there have been many things they made me stop and think "oh... that was the autism". It has helped me to understand why I am the way that I am and has helped me to understand when I'm struggling with certain things.

    I think itm would be worth looking into, because even if you are not autistic, it could be something else. And if you turn out not to be autistic then that's ok too! Just allows you to understand yourself more :)

  • Welcome.

    I recognise a lot of myself in what you have said and on that basis I think autism is certainly something you should investigate further.

    You can find some online tests here, which will score the results to give you an indicator if autism is a possibility.

    https://embrace-autism.com/

    This autistic led site is a good starting point to learn more about autism. It is designed with younger people in mind but I see no reason why it can't be used by anyone of any age.

    https://autismunderstood.co.uk/

    I would also like to offer my condolences on the loss of your mum. Mine has been a very significant part of my life too and I find it difficult to imagine life without her.

    I hope you achieve the self understanding you need to move forward. Please ask if you have any more questions. 

  • HI there, 

    Thanks for your post. 

    I am a 35 year old female and while some of my circumstances aren't like yours, I do definitely feel like I have an immediate understanding of what you are like. I have always been told I am rude and short and stuff when I think I'm actually very kind and compassionate, but my words do often come out wrong.

    Can I first say how sorry I am that your mother passed away, I can't imagine how hard that was. My mother is also a big part in my life and I am not sure how I will cope when the day comes. 

    From a total outsider, yes, it sounds like you might have autism, but that is such a specific set of tests and diagnoses, it isn't my part to say yes/no or otherwise. 

    You don't say where you're based but this is a UK forum so I'll assume the UK. You can approach your GP and ask for a diagnosis. If you do, please request the 'Right to choose' at the same time, it will expedite your case to private practice. 

    Message me back if you want more details on anything. x

  • I would say there is a high chance. Google the AQ50 tests, will take about 15min. I would particually check out youtube, lots of good people have channels about adult autism. There are many older people undiagnosed, diagnoses is slow on the NHS and there is no support after diagnosis. Good luck.

  • Join the Club. I was a lone-wolf my entire life.

    Assessments are best done privately, if you can afford one. NHS Assessments are, themselves, overloaded.