The Random Thoughts Thread

I’m thinking about whether or not I should continue trying to compete with the employment-world, to establish stability and security in the conventional-way, or whether I should seek social-remedy and seek to try and work on other life-goals.. such as relationships and family-building..

That sounds overwhelming to think about all at the same time.

That sounds overwhelming to think about all at the same time.

Good luck!

Work's an endless conundrum... money, time, value of either, both..how to balance all that, if it's even possible..

I'm starting a new job soon after several years without one, so I guess I'll find out! 

You know, all of that is big life stuff. If you can get to comfortable scar stage you're doing well..

Sorry about the low-nature of that, I’m not despairing about the stuff anymore, it’s just an ugly-old scar now that I wish to feel comfortable with..

Well I’ve been pondering this stuff for a long time, it is at the forefront of my weekly tasks, employment and such. But one has to think for themselves and act for themselves on these matters, because everyone has got an agenda and sensibilities, that are far removed from my own.  

I have taken a divergent path and as such I walk it mostly-alone, I have to justify and process my existence in a way that most cannot advise on, I have to justify whether I am entitled to start a family given that they will have a harder time because of me.

I have to contend also with my anxiety and depression, as well as my desires and wants, I have to decide what the ‘right’ thing is dispassionately. I don’t believe that it is a decision that I can rely on others for, because others have agendas and have not walked where I have or need to walk, I have to consider whether being a ‘last man’ is my place in this world.

It is evil of me to build a house on anything other than granite, and force another generation to absorb and understand with the community, and clamber out of the thicket that I started them in..

I'm overwhelmed  with just deciding to have a scratch or not :-)