Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm out off work with significant colonic disease. I had an endoscopy and they found problems in my stomach that explains why I keep vomiting every day.
I''m living at my mother's house, but she wants me out.
I phoned CAB and they said they can't help me unless my case is special regarding housing.
I visited CAB by appointment a few years ago about a different issue and tried to explain my issues. Afterwards, when I say bye and walked away, she called me a 'f**king idiot' under her breath. She didn't know I was undiagnosed.
It put me offf getting help.
My dream is to just live alone and have a garden, but that obviously isn't going to happen.
I wish I could find a way to do this.
I can't socialise and I can't take loud noises.
NAS71232 said:I''m living at my mother's house, but she wants me out.
This seems like your most pressing issue and one where you may need to work with your mother to make you "homeless" for long enough to get some other accommodation.
I would suggest trying to find a way to make things better with your mother if you possibly can so you have a base to work from while you plan your independence.
Be aware that your chances of getting allocated a flat in a house full of drug users is much higher than a isolated cottage with a garden though - the alternative may be worse than your current situation.
Do you have an official diagnosis? Without this you will get nowhere with social services.
The next thing to consider is whether you can sustain yourself on your own. Do you have a job or reasonable source of income? These are probably going to be essential.
Don't let others ignorance put you off looking for help whatever you do. They don't know your struggles so if they are mean then just give them a Paddington Bear hard stare and ignore their judgement and continue with making them do their damn job.
NAS71232 said:I can't socialise and I can't take loud noises.
The loud noises issue can be addressed with noise cancelling headphones for most of the time but the socialising thing is something that can be worked on - have you tried learning about what is going on and slowly exposing yourself to it more?
I've found a lot of people say they can't socialise when what they mean is they won't - it isn't easy but you can learn the skills and coping mechanisms to allow it to happen IF you want it to. Being a hermit is a valid option but not realistic in your situation I think.
If you can apply yourself to some of the challanges you face then I think you can make progress towards making more of an independent life in time, but for now you should focus on your living situaion in my opinion.
Thanks for the replies.
I don't have an offical diagnosis. It was suggested that I have autism from my primary school teachers, but my mother didn't want to pursue it. There was an attempted murder from an adult when I was 14 where I received over 20 double head stamps from a psycho.I should have died, but I survived. My mother says my mental health is declining slowly since that attrack. I'm 45 now.
I'm not sure if I can sustain myself on my own.
NAS71232 said:I'm not sure if I can sustain myself on my own.
I would get a diagnosis in the first case then - once you have this then you will be classed as disabled and may be able to use this to get other support.
Your GP is the first place to ask for this, then they will put you on a very long waiting list and you can then ask for a "right to choose" so you can go private and speed the process up significantly/
If you can't sustain yourself then I do recommend working on mending the relationship with your mother and try to be sustained at home while you at least wait for the assessment and explore any other support options you have.
Do you have any proof of declining mental health? If so raise this with your GP as there may be more they can do.
In the long term your mother will not be around forever so at some point you will need to become independent so now if the time to start learning how best to look out for yourself so when that time comes you are able to survive.
Thank you Iain.