Published on 12, July, 2020
For anyone who used to struggle with this and managed to find it easier, how did you distinguish between a compliment seemingly not feeling genuine and one that does?
I'm well aware that my low self-esteem is the reason why I've struggled to respond to compliments and really take them in, and it's something I'm really working on. Sometimes I'd make a joke in response and it kills it somewhat.
There's probably an argument that adults tend to not pay people compliments unless they genuinely mean it - at that point in time anyway.
I hate compliments - but my mum taught me when I was quite young that you just say thank you, then either move on to something else, or you find something kind to say in return. I like to make my compliments about non-physical things because I think they mean more that way. So - "I love your earings" is a nice thing to say but maybe "I love how warm you are as a person" is maybe even lovelier to say/hear.
My therapist recently said she's proud of my progress and I froze up a little because I didn't know how to respond.
What came out of my mouth was a half-hearted joke in "well, I'm glad someone is". I realise now I could have just said thank you but it can be a bit uncomfortable.