Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm a newly diagnosed ASD chap who's always been classed as being "quirky". But my wife has always thought different and that there might be something else which behind closed doors has caused countless arguments, upsets and massive lows on both our sides (me to the point of ending it, and her to the point of wanting to walk out).
Somehow along the way we've managed to create 2 amazing children, but all that's done is add way more stress. My inability to commicate at an emotional level, lack of apparant empthy and support, and absolutely shocking planning skills has killed my relationship whereby I'm told regulary that were it not for the children, she would have walked, and is counting down the days until she can leave.
I've had coaching but nothing sticks, and I am so anxious around her as I don't want to upset her, which then compounds every other issue I have.
Does anyone else have an experience like this, how has it panned out? Any advice?
NAS87981 said:But my wife has always thought different and that there might be something else which behind closed doors has caused countless arguments
Can explain what you mean by that? I'm not being facetious. I've been on the receiving end of being told all the problems in the marriage were because of me. Any relationship is the responsibility of both parties. Autism is framed as a problem because the majority of people are not autistic. Autism is seen as a deficit, a lack, a problem. Neurotypical people do not view themselves as a problem for autistic people because they are the majority. What you are is not the problem. We are a minority that does not have our needs catered for. If your wife wants to make your relationship work then she needs to acknowledge your neurology and you both need to find a workable solution for your family that caters to your children's needs because that is the ultimate goal as parents.