I don't know how much more I can take

When I was approaching diagnosis, and the possibility that I may not be awarded the relief of diagnosis, I was constantly in a dark-place and clutching at straws. The ultimate object and draw of my attention was the question of meaning, the weighing of both my responsibility and of entitlement, and whether I or not I could justify carrying on, it boiled down to one thing. Righteousness. The closer I got to the void the greater impression that truth had on me. I’m glad that I realised my philosophical-truth before I found a diagnosis.
Ultimately it is the right-thing to do to carry-on and take on the burden of life. The suffering that we experience, whilst doing right-things, allows us to be and see what is good against what is bad. If you follow-through with the right-thing then good will follow, not as a reward or a punishment or because of what you expect, but because you had done what you are meant to do and good things will have manifested.

It is right not to be a slave. It is right to treat fairly with others. It is right to grasp the nettle. It is right not to shy-away from unreasonable-fears. It is right to seek manageable-responsibility. It is right to be accountable. The list goes on..

Depressive-attacks go as quickly as then come I can assure you, in an amount of time you will find the path, try not to accept these extremes as peak-truth, peak-truth often is found in the most-dispassionate of moments. You’ll be fine and when you’re interest strikes again keep-on pushing at it, eventually you will gain-ground..:)

When I was approaching diagnosis, and the possibility that I may not be awarded the relief of diagnosis, I was constantly in a dark-place and clutching at straws. The ultimate object and draw of my attention was the question of meaning, the weighing of both my responsibility and of entitlement, and whether I or not I could justify carrying on, it boiled down to one thing. Righteousness. The closer I got to the void the greater impression that truth had on me. I’m glad that I realised my philosophical-truth before I found a diagnosis.
Ultimately it is the right-thing to do to carry-on and take on the burden of life. The suffering that we experience, whilst doing right-things, allows us to be and see what is good against what is bad. If you follow-through with the right-thing then good will follow, not as a reward or a punishment or because of what you expect, but because you had done what you are meant to do and good things will have manifested.

It is right not to be a slave. It is right to treat fairly with others. It is right to grasp the nettle. It is right not to shy-away from unreasonable-fears. It is right to seek manageable-responsibility. It is right to be accountable. The list goes on..

Depressive-attacks go as quickly as then come I can assure you, in an amount of time you will find the path, try not to accept these extremes as peak-truth, peak-truth often is found in the most-dispassionate of moments. You’ll be fine and when you’re interest strikes again keep-on pushing at it, eventually you will gain-ground..:)