Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm too exhaused to even type this. I have started a new job and its a completely different career from what I'm used to. Its librarian work which you would think would suit me and sometimes it does but im used to being a teacher and the change to a new career, particularly after how badly I was discriminated against in my last job and the effect that had on me, has absolutley floored me.Since starting this job I have had so much fear every morning and evening and at the end of lunch breaks about going back. The wierd things are there are also times when i feel very calm there and enjoy the job.
Its difficult to describe the effect its having on me. the only time in my life I went through something similar was the change when I left retail to start teaching. Its very very hard to put into words what is going through my head but it is extremely painful
Any advice would be needed. I know it might pass when I get used to the job but I dont think I can stand this pain and suffering in the meantime
You have been living with your own coping mechanisms in a job for such a long time that you’ve forgotten just how much change can overwhelm you. Not only have you changed career, you should take realise you’ve also changed the route to work, the times you work, the times you eat, the times you get ready, the people you interact with, the work you do, how you think….the list of changes relating to one big life event are endless, and it’s a lot to process,
Be gentle with yourself, and take it an hour at a time. Don’t worry about what might happen long term, because you need to focus on the now. The process of adjustment is a slow one for us, but you’re entirely capable, even if it doesn’t feel like it at the moment.