Published on 12, July, 2020
Have any of you noticed that, when things aren't going as you like or you don't know how to communicate certain things with friends or family, that over time you cut them out?
Glad I'm not alone in it.
I've been trying to figure out why, and I think, now I understand more about myself and ADD+autism post-diagnosis, realise that I try to predict outcomes (scripting) but you can't predict the outcome of others. So if there is anything I am uncomfortable with in a relationship, even the smallest thing, that I can't remove or resolve through adapting my mindset then I seem to go mute.
It's happened since I was a kid, but is happening again now. My brother lives the other side of the world. He left 4+ years ago and had two kids there. I've been left 'holding the parents' who are aging.
I'm sore because I can't understand how somebody can do that. I would never cut my folks out like that after all they did bringing us up.
I asked him about that before and he said 'ah no, they are happy for me. That I'm travelling and living my life'.
Since then I haven't tried to communicate it again, I just try not to speak to him. I find that mindset totally selfish. He also hasn't considered how it effects me and my small family too.
But I don't know how to resolve it. So I avoid it entirely. But I'm aware that response is detrimental to relationships
JT said:But I don't know how to resolve it. So I avoid it entirely. But I'm aware that response is detrimental to relationships
I've found the same. I only have a very small group of contacts but I've cut them out as well when things get bad, I'm just lucky that they understand and still like me after.
That's great to hear. I'm sure they would be, but I think many wouldn't believe it and think I'm following some sort of trend in neurodiversity atm because it's talked about a lot more. People don't know what I've been through because I'veanaged to mask do well for so long
There's so much prejudice in the world. I'm lucky in most people I've met are understanding but a lot of people aren't sadly.
I hope you can find good people who will understand. I have three people who understand and are supportive.
That is good. Only my brother and partner know of my diagnosis, so many I have left behind won't understand.
Trying to live more authentically (unmasking to myself slowly) before I can to others.
I just don't trust people's prejudices yet, too much ignorance to what neurodiversity means still for me to be comfortable identifying as autistic