Published on 12, July, 2020
Personally, my negative emotions have often been dismissed and/or mocked whenever I try to talk about them. I’m told I just need to get over myself while they value their views over mine (to be specific, have no consideration toward my personal views) and expect me to follow through.
This would result in me having a meltdown, constantly questioning myself whether I’m in the wrong for feeling this way. I often catch myself saying “you’re going to be ok” and “act like a normal human being” whenever there’s a bunch of stress and sadness building up inside me and I try to bottle it up. I discredit my feelings because of this. And it’s damaged me.
Many times I get involved in fights and arguments with other people that I end up being the only one facing the consequences, I feel like everything is my fault. I’m trying to move on, but it’s difficult for me to. I felt like I deserved to be scrutinized, criticized by every skeptic that I run into, feeling often uncertain of myself.
I felt like I’ve said enough. Anyways, what are your experiences?
All the time,
For me its all related to Fawning and Masking my Autism for many years and not wanting to admit I struggled with thing others were doing as it felt like if they can manage I should be able too as well, not knowing really the sensory difficulties and the reasons for my anxiety
Before my diagnosis i had a burnout because I kept going on when I shouldn't have, on the plus side it did lead me to get my assessment so something positive came out of it.
I’m very sorry for you. Know that your feelings are valid and it is ok to feel frustrated at things many people won’t understand or even accept. You have my full support.