Am I steange?

Im autistic level 2 and DLD and mild intellectual disability. 

When I get overwhelmed I use different things to regulate. Sitting on the floor rolling a ball against the wall or sitting in the sofa and having a finger in my mouth or using a chewie thing.

I'm not allowed to speak about my disabilities it's family rules. I lived at home until I was 28 years old then in nursing home for 4,5 years. Then alone. But still allowed talk about my problems for my parents. I'm forbidden to play with toys but I so want to. I was not allowed using pacifier after age 12 year old.

I love to play with Lego. I want to go swinging and playing in sand but it's forbidden as adult to do Cry. I love splashing in water with my hands.

I'm bodily function disabled. I can or control my bladder never could in my life. 

Parents say I'm stupid and wrong and not good. I must feel ashamed for all my problems. I trou leave eating correct it's hard getting food in my mouth but manage that but usually cry because my sweater gets dirty. Am I wrong or strange? 

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