Published on 12, July, 2020
I say "does anyone else" like it's a unique experience, particularly for the Autistics among us with terrible rumination issues, but I've noticed it is getting worse for me.
I can't respond to things in the moment so I end up really frustrated and angry immediately after.
I think a lot about future conversations. I see a therapist and I spend hours on end thinking about what I'll say, how I'll say it and even with a list of notes to accompany me, I'll still come away afterwards thinking about what I wish I said.
Is it because I'm not "in the moment" enough?
Yes. Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes.
I take notes to important meetings e.g. doctor's appointments. Otherwise, I feel it's just a consequence of having autism and social anxiety. It's not so much not being "in the moment" and more that our autistic brains don't process spoken information, that quickly, so there's a time-lag in any conversation, which inevitably leads to us playing catch-up the whole time and not giving it the kind of considered response we might give when thinking it through before or afterwards.
Taking notes is a good idea. I always forget to take notes. Bad memory for a lot of stuff like that.