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Is it just me or does it have to do with being autistic?

A
over 1 year ago

I have a hard time asking questions but I also have a harder time asking for simple favors.

I am not sure if it is my pride, but I like to prove that I don't need help from anyone, I can do it by myself. It's not right to be extreme in this and I am working on learning and improving. 

I wonder if someone has similar experiences.

Parents
  • over 1 year ago

    From extensive reading, yoga, even church retreats, this is a normal human experience. Learning to receive gracefully IS an art. Learning to politely refuse, also an art. But also learning to evaluate who we allow to give to us is just as crucial.

    In order to grow, we need to learn to give. It also curates a sense of purpose. Refusing a kind gesture can even cause another to feel pointless. So there's something in both actions of the exchange.

    However, the social systems around us can use gifting as a way of creating a debt. The Freudian Neurotic / NeuroTypical social hierarchies are built around this, so for an autistic who doesn't always see the illusion, but can't help but see past it, it could be natural to not want to fall into this trap. But it's not everyone.

    Genuine giving should cost us a little, but it can also be rewarding and create community and investment. 

Reply
  • over 1 year ago

    From extensive reading, yoga, even church retreats, this is a normal human experience. Learning to receive gracefully IS an art. Learning to politely refuse, also an art. But also learning to evaluate who we allow to give to us is just as crucial.

    In order to grow, we need to learn to give. It also curates a sense of purpose. Refusing a kind gesture can even cause another to feel pointless. So there's something in both actions of the exchange.

    However, the social systems around us can use gifting as a way of creating a debt. The Freudian Neurotic / NeuroTypical social hierarchies are built around this, so for an autistic who doesn't always see the illusion, but can't help but see past it, it could be natural to not want to fall into this trap. But it's not everyone.

    Genuine giving should cost us a little, but it can also be rewarding and create community and investment. 

Children
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