Published on 12, July, 2020
I don't know about others, but I'm getting a little concerned that the arguments will put off new members.
Quite often people join and then disappear quite quickly.
I've been involved in these myself on occasion, so I'm not innocent.
However, maybe the mods could create a section where these potentially contentious threads could be placed that had a heading like NSFW (a new one on me but it seems to be well known).
If a seemingly innocuous thread then turns into a constant argument, perhaps it could be moved to there.
It's sometimes interraction between older males and older females (or non binary etc) and comes down to very different relationship/*ex points of view but can of course stem from any subject and any set of contributors.
I think it happens more often than it once did, and I've not been here a year yet.
Peter said:consent is consent it doesn't come in flavours
I can foresee this is going to inevitably spiral and end up an example of exactly what Debbie is talking about, but since it is important information for younger and especially potentially impressionable members to know about: "Consent" through coercion (threat/blackmail/guilt-trip/etc) isn't consent, in any ethical (anywhere) or legal (UK +) sense of the word.We need to be careful as far as we can reasonably be aware to how we phrase things around these major subjects so as not to accidentally give anyone harmful advice.
I have a proposal. I'd like the communities opinion on it.
hypothetically if you have figured out my full name you've done so by cross referencing a lot of individually non identifying facts about my background from loads of different posts. Which hardly counts.
Mods may be overwhelmed but I think they are as overwhelmed by spurious reports, baseless accusations and personal vendettas as anything else.
Well that's not sex positivity then.
consent is consent it doesn't come in flavours ... that my opinion. But that's beside the point. sex positivity means a lot more than that. Sex positivity means not demonising young autistic men for making a mess of it as they try to navigate sexual relationships with good intentions.
I won't post your full name here, I'm just letting you know you've (accidentally, I assume) broken rule 2, since you brought up its enforcement.
Racism, sexism, homophobia and transphobia routinely appear on this forum. It's not a safe environment. Mods appear to be overwhelmed and respond days later by simply closing threads rather than deleting hate speech comments as they appear.
rule 7: "This is a hate-free zone for autistic people, their families and friends, and professionals working in the field. We do not permit sexism, homophobia, racism, anti-Semitism, religious intolerance, transphobia, disability hate speech, hate speech, obscenities or pornography to be posted or linked to here."
There is a difference between hate speech and speech that you hate. These sorts of rules are terribly vague and subjective. Which is apparently why the I have a view of it that is very different from yours ... and apparently from the mods. I'm sure the mods are enforcing this rule as they see it.
More to the point. did you just threaten to dox me?
Sex positivity means recognising the need for enthusiastic consent. Please don't use terms you don't understand.
the arguments here are largely about whether this forum is going to be a sex positive place where we recognise that (most) autistic people have a sexual side, that this is perfectly natural and healthy and that the issues of how autistic people meet those needs is a fit topic for discussion.
Or is this going to be a sex negative place where autistic people are shamed for having or wanting sexual relationships / encounters.
rule 2: "This Community forum is public, so do not post personal or identifying details. This includes, but is not limited to, full names, addresses, contact details, social media, or photographs of yourself. (updated February 2020)"
It is enforced?
Rule 7 needs to be enforced.
for my part I'm concerned that all this sex negativity, especially since most of it seems directed at men, will put off new male members. especially younger men who maybe haven't seen enough of the autistic community to know most people don't think that way.
Well there are certain people who seem to believe that asexuality is the natural state of almost all autistic people and then that looking at someone sexually is basically a sex crime (yes I'm speaking in hyperbole but you know what I mean).
And then there are those of us who want to prevent autistic people, especially young autistic men who might be quite sensitive, from being shamed on this forum for having normal healthy sex drives they're struggling to satisfy.
I don't think there is much scope for compromise here. the thinking of those on either side is too different.