Arguments on the forum

HP35 said:

Although did you realise you've posted enough info about yourself that you've been quite easy to identify?

This is really threatening behaviour, talking about figuring out peoples real names to expose them. Mods seriously how is this sort of intimidation and bullying allowed? And its always the same people doing it and yet they always seem to be able to get away with it.

Im serioulsy thinking of deleting my profile on here, this place has become so toxic, I find my mental health is much better if I avoid this forum now and I know a lot of other people on here feel the same

Im not getting involved in debates on here but I will say that the forum certainly has a very different tone than it used to, there seem to be a lot more members on here who are very aggressive in their opinions and quick to take offence at anything they disagree with. It certainly makes me spend less time on here, I get enough of that in the real world

Shame really it used to be just a group of autistic people supporting each other 

Let’s be blunt now arguing on the Internet is all I have. I don’t have a social life anymore they took that away from me. The people I would sit about with talking about micro Nations and genetic engineering and sci-fi and electrified bras … I no longer have those conversations. I don’t sleep anymore. Not really. I wear myself out on the sofa watching Netflix then drag myself up to bed in the wee hours of the morning. If I’m not arguing with you guys i’ll probably end up arguing with myself or just watching the same tired show all over again.

by all means go get some sleep.

Peter I'm really trying to be generous and give you the benefit of the doubt, despite our many differences and disagreements, but you don't half make it difficult.
I've tried my best here to help re-foster a sense of community peace, and I really don't think you'd hold the same view if you had been in Ottilies shoes, please try to see it from the other's perspective too because not all trauma is equal, and it isn't a competition. That's all I can say at this point and I can't be doing this all night, so I'm out.

@Ottilie , I really hope this doesn't put a dampener on the rest of your night/week, etc. Please reach out if you ever want to talk.

I’m just trying to explain that I find it really difficult not to argue against any case for censorship regardless of the circumstance.

I truly wish we had something closer to the United States first Amendment. which of course doesn’t protect all speech but as a general rule means that you can‘t censure  speech unless you can demonstrate tangible harm like yelling fire in a crowded room. It’s one of the things I would most like to see introduced into the British legal system.

I know this may be difficult for you to understand but I find censorship triggering. I’m not joking I’ve literally had sleepless nights over it. Articles in newspapers about how some person was lampooned or pilloried or persecuted for something they said but was from their point of you completely reasonable. In the name of sensitivity many bad laws have been made and people have fallen foul of these bad laws, it keeps me up at night sometimes.

do you know how many people were stressed over Brexit? I feel the same way when I read articles about how this or that person should be penalised for saying something insensitive.

Peter I'm not saying you've no right to an opinion any more than I'd say you've no right to a bum-hole, (I think you are wrong regarding certain topics being a free for all but I'm not interested in entertaining dystopian ideas of thought crime) but pls leave it alone with Ottilie because that kind of PTSD is a literal waking hell, so if you want to be sensitive be aware your opinion doesn't actually have to be shared every time the subject comes up, I think you like others, including me try to relate from a personal perspective which comes very naturally to us as autistic people, but we need to learn we aren't the centre of everything and we don't have to be, especially because you at least have the privilege of leaving this topic here when you log off tonight and people like Ottilie don't. That specific trauma is not something you  would wish on your worst enemy it follows you everywhere, nowhere is ever truly safe, not even your own head as you lay in bed at night, so please just heed Ottilies's words and let this be at least as safe a space as it can be. Other people need equal access to this space too for support which they can't do if it is littered with a minefield of carelessly laid triggers.

And certainly not telling you how you should feel. And I certainly don’t want to stop you expressing yourself or having your say or explaining your views. 
if you don’t like the way I phrased it before. instead of no one having the right to say how the conversation must go. shall we say instead nobody has the right to say how it cannot go. nobody not even on the grounds of sensitivity has the right to say this topic cannot be discussed particularly not when it’s relevant.

I appreciate it may not be obvious but this thread is very much a follow on from previous threads in which people being accused of sexual abuse was a major feature. There is really no roundabout way of addressing that adequately it has to be done directly.

Don't worry bees. I don't find you insensitive about these things. You don't need to stress about it. 

Ok Peter. I can take the same attitude. Your experiences don't give you a license to dictate how the conversation goes. But the point is that YOU ARE TRYING TO DICTATE HOW THE CONVERSATION GOES. You literally turned Debbie's post in to poll about that. Flippin' heck. You brought up sexual abuse without any sensitivity. You keep explaining to me how I should be/feel/express my own experiences and issues. Why don't you just shut up about it? What's your problem? And before you go on to tell me that I have a problem because I take issue with you telling me how to be, seriously just have some self reflection and stop telling sexual abuse survivors how they should be, act and feel. Ok? Do you understand? 

I mean I don’t wanna make anyone’s life harder if they find topics difficult. But I do worry sometimes within the clamour to try and be sensitive you do exactly what you say we’re trying not to do, which is to shush people. If nothing else getting threads locked because everyone is accusing everybody else of everything under the Sun, is effectively shushing people.

Nobody is trying to shush you or dictate you. We are a community and all our voices matter. It's a great opportunity to learn how to debate in a sensitive way about such triggering topics. I think it's useful to learn this not only for the sake of other members in the forum but for me in my personal life too. 

Hi Debbie,

I hope you are well.

I don't post a lot anymore. I like this community but I'm suffering mentally and a lot of the time I get triggered being here which is a shame because I really like it here. I noticed we don't get nearly as many new members anymore and those who do join rarely stay.

I won't get involved in the debates on this page.

Have a good night all.

Nat.

You haven't Ree. Don't worry. 

I’m sorry you seem genuinely upset and I didn’t want to upset you. But what happened doesn’t  give you A license to dictate how other people converse or who is speaking seriously or not speaking seriously or what is two lights what’s respectful what’s not respectful. i’m sorry but you cannot be the arbiter of these things. 

no one has to buy their way into serious conversations by having had awful life experiences. we all have something to say and something to share and our opinions are as strong as the arguments behind them. Your personal experience is uniquely yours I can’t tell you what it should or shouldn’t be, but it doesn’t give you an exclusive license to dictate how the conversation around these topics go.

It's good to hear you try give people the benefit of the doubt, I know I can be rather firm so I suspect it may surprise people to know that I've always at least tried to do so with people too.
I know we have disagreements some of them vehement even, but at least on this I agree with you, locking the threads (sometimes) seems to just kick the can down the road for the ill sentiment and misunderstandings or animosity to resurface on another thread later down the line. But I think I know atleast why they lock them, it is to save us all from just rehashing the same old adnauseum because a lot of us are just coming from life from different ends of the table and will inevitably have some clash, so they lock it to put a cool down on us rather than let it carry on and on with people potentially verbally beating eachother over the head in an escalating manner. It's likely a difficult decision they make and requires them to weight the pros and cons in the balance.

"Uncomfortable". Whatever. When you've had your body and mind violated then come back and tell me about being made "uncomfortable". I've had more uncomfortableness than you can comprehend. You're the one taking an actual poll because you're upset by some random strangers on the internet arguing with you. Quit turning this in to Peter being persecuted. Your words are insensitive. Sexual abuse, rape and harassment are not topics for people that haven't experienced them to lightly discuss. If you want to discuss them then you'd better put aside your "willingness" and telling me how the conversation should be. You aren't the expert here. You don't get to say how or what the conversation should be. 

I think if there’s anything I could say to the mods it would be you need to stop locking these angry argumentative threads. 

you’re not making the issue go away. people will continue to bump heads on the matter. in fact I think possibly by locking a thread you’re just pouring petrol on the fire.

You assume that I didn’t? I honestly can’t say if I did Report them all I’ve reported some. And also I feel bad about bringing the mods down upon people for saying things in the heat of the moment. I know how easy it is to get carried away and I wouldn’t want to get anyone banned.

also to be honest it’s starting to feel rather futile because I know that all the mods are likely to do is lock another important thread talking about something that needs to be discussed. It seems like a disservice to the OP to be reporting people in his thread when I know it’s going to get the thread locked and it not be OPs fault.

I am quite happy to put a question of my victimisation or non-victimisation to the side. I want to be a sensitive with you as I possibly can be. I certainly don’t want to exclude you from the conversation. But I’m not willing to avoid topics that make you uncomfortable just so that you can join in with the conversation. Not when those topics are important and need to be addressed.

I cannot undo what happened to you I wish I could. But your circumstances as horrible as they are do not entitle you to tell other people what they cannot discuss.