Published on 12, July, 2020
Hiya,
I wanted to take a moment to share something that's been on my mind lately, hoping to connect with others who might have similar experiences. I (20M) have autism, while my girlfriend (18F) does not. We have a wonderful relationship, but there's one aspect that has been a bit challenging for me to navigate.
Recently, my girlfriend has been coming home after working out at the gym and getting naked in front of me, expecting us to engage in intimate activities. Now, let me be clear: I appreciate her desire and attraction towards me, and I genuinely love her. However, I've found that sex tends to be overwhelming for me in terms of sensory input.
Do any of yous experience this or if it's just me. I'm not being ungrateful towards my girlfriend, nor am I trying to diminish the importance of intimacy in our relationship. Instead, I'm seeking understanding and connection with others who might have found themselves in similar situations.
It's crucial to communicate openly and honestly with our partners about our needs, boundaries, and unique sensory experiences. While my girlfriend is aware of my autism, I don't think she fully understands the sensory challenges I face during intimate moments. Explaining this to her is something I'm working on, but it can be difficult to put into words.
TL;DR: I (20M) have autism, and my girlfriend (18F) doesn't. I find sex overwhelming due to sensory overload. Wondering if others had similar experiences and looking for advice on how to navigate this aspect of relationships.
Just found the book I was looking for:
Maxine Aston - The Other Half of Asperger Syndrome-Jessica Kingsley Publishers (2013) (ISBN 9781849054980 )
under section 15 - Sex:
Sensory sensitivity can play a strong role in why sex does not always go well, and may become fraught with anxiety and misunderstandings. Not all, but many, men and women with Asperger syndrome have a heightened sensitivity to their environment and the noises, smells, sights, textures and tastes that surround them. Be aware what these areas are, otherwise misunderstandings are bound to occur.
It covers a lot of other stuff that you may want to talk with her about but I would do yhis in stages as it covers a wide range of aspie/autism traits and may be overwhelming.