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IMasterCommander

Hello there,

I don't really know how to start, I am literally brand new to this site. My name is Hannah and I live in the USA. I am 25 and I was diagnosed with autism (among other things) late last year and I have had the realization that I have no friends. I have had a bunch of people in my life throughout the years that I have thought were my friend, but in reality, they were my friend but I wasn't theirs. So I have a lot of acquaintances and people that I am friendly with, but no one to actually spend time with or get to know me beyond surface level (which is typically a mask at first anyways). I ask questions, I engage in their interests, I try to find common ground but it's to no avail. I have a girlfriend who is a social butterfly and I hang out with her friends, but over two years none of them have become my friend, not for lack of trying either. I can just really tell that they aren't interested in me and think that I am weird from watching how they respond to me when I talk or am just around.

I am just feeling extremely defeated and lonely. I work in a small office where I am the youngest employee, so making peer-friendships isn't really an option at work. I skateboard, go to the gym, attend concerts regularly, go to coffee shops and antique stores. I don't know why I feel like no one wants to be my friend or get to know me. The people I went to school with have all been friends since childhood and I had a group of girls that I spent an immense amount of time with, but as time went on I got left out more and more, texted less frequently, and was dodged when asking to get together. 

I guess this is more of a vent session than a topic of discussion and I'm sorry, but I'd love to have some earnest tips in befriending someone. I'd even be happy with a penpal. I want a sense of normalcy in my social life, I want a 'best friend'.

Thank you <3 

Parents

  • I get it. It's a common theme for Aitistic people.

    I am 58. 56 diagnosed. I've often sat at the edge of big groups, had people around me who do not get me, yet have deep friendships in my life.

    I guess the best thing I can say is don't try. You are you. You have a right to be you. Many will not get you. However some will. Those kindred spirits, possibly themselves neurodivergent will gravitate toward you, and stay.

    The precious few in 58 who did that for me are the best. Your soul buddies will find you. As for the rest, oh.. smile, sit on the edge and watch. Let them do their NT stuff. The NDs will sit next to you. 

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  • I get it. It's a common theme for Aitistic people.

    I am 58. 56 diagnosed. I've often sat at the edge of big groups, had people around me who do not get me, yet have deep friendships in my life.

    I guess the best thing I can say is don't try. You are you. You have a right to be you. Many will not get you. However some will. Those kindred spirits, possibly themselves neurodivergent will gravitate toward you, and stay.

    The precious few in 58 who did that for me are the best. Your soul buddies will find you. As for the rest, oh.. smile, sit on the edge and watch. Let them do their NT stuff. The NDs will sit next to you. 

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