Hello there,
I don't really know how to start, I am literally brand new to this site. My name is Hannah and I live in the USA. I am 25 and I was diagnosed with autism (among other things) late last year and I have had the realization that I have no friends. I have had a bunch of people in my life throughout the years that I have thought were my friend, but in reality, they were my friend but I wasn't theirs. So I have a lot of acquaintances and people that I am friendly with, but no one to actually spend time with or get to know me beyond surface level (which is typically a mask at first anyways). I ask questions, I engage in their interests, I try to find common ground but it's to no avail. I have a girlfriend who is a social butterfly and I hang out with her friends, but over two years none of them have become my friend, not for lack of trying either. I can just really tell that they aren't interested in me and think that I am weird from watching how they respond to me when I talk or am just around.
I am just feeling extremely defeated and lonely. I work in a small office where I am the youngest employee, so making peer-friendships isn't really an option at work. I skateboard, go to the gym, attend concerts regularly, go to coffee shops and antique stores. I don't know why I feel like no one wants to be my friend or get to know me. The people I went to school with have all been friends since childhood and I had a group of girls that I spent an immense amount of time with, but as time went on I got left out more and more, texted less frequently, and was dodged when asking to get together.
I guess this is more of a vent session than a topic of discussion and I'm sorry, but I'd love to have some earnest tips in befriending someone. I'd even be happy with a penpal. I want a sense of normalcy in my social life, I want a 'best friend'.
Thank you <3