Published on 12, July, 2020
I've come to the conclusion that, no matter how hard I try to make something of myself in this world or no matter how hard I try to lead a simple and normal life, I will always fail. The system is designed against us and to keep us from any sense of belonging in this world, so I just don't care anymore.
I keep applying for jobs and attending interviews, but I keep failing them. I keep being told about "opportunities" for career blah blah blah etc, but I honest think it is all a lie to keep us running around in circles and to drive us insane. I'll never be able to get a job I'll be happy with because the system is designed to keep me from having any level of satisfaction in my life.
There is no chance for the autistic, we are un desirables, and because I am both autistic and gay I will be more of an undesirable than most people. I just don't think there is any point in trying to do anything anymore. Applying for work, seeking opportunities, attempting to find any sort of place in this world, there is just no point anymore.
I give up.
You are searching for a job....and it is making you very unhappy. Perhaps search for some/any positivity about yourself and the potential that exists within....and maybe the job will find itself and present to you.
Sorry if this optimistic and hopeful sounding message is too "happy" for you at the moment. I have walked the long dark corridors of misery myself - I do know how unbearably bleak everything can feel and how it looks like an insurmountable mountain of hopeless krap ahead. I also now that it always gets brighter and lighter soon enough.
Concentrate on trying to be happier in the moment.
Best wishes to you Akendolfer.
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