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Gut feeling / gut instinct

Ice Swimmer
over 1 year ago

People talk about having "gut" instincts or feelings, about people, situations, choices.

I rarely get these but instead consciously work through all the different aspects to reach a conclusion. This affects me when choosing food to eat or off a menu, to the extent that I avoid making a decision and go without (unless social niceties necessitate otherwise - stress point).

I am very wary of new people and need 5 or 6 longish meetings before I can form an opinion. Studies say that for instance in a job interview the interviewer makes a decision within a minute or so.

I will mull over purchases of clothes, shoes, house decorations for a long time, deciding if I need them, can I justify spending the money, is there something more suitable, is it the best colour, texture etc.

More expensive or more technical things, I spend months researching and struggling to decide as I worry that I haven't got sufficient information to make a solid decision.

Overall, I find decision making incredibly stressful. If I am rushed I will ruminate for days after, about the "what if".

I have searched the archives and see no-one mentioning this, so could this be an aspect of my autism, or just my personality?

If it is an autistic traits has anyone got any pointers for reducing the stress?

Parents
  • over 1 year ago
    Ice Swimmer said:
    I am very wary of new people and need 5 or 6 longish meetings before I can form an opinion. Studies say that for instance in a job interview the interviewer makes a decision within a minute or so.

    Re-reading my message, I realised that I didn't highlight my real area of concern, which I have quoted above.

    By not making more than the briefest of eye contact and looking away from people, and otherwise just not noticing, do I miss the cues that people use e.g. body language, small differences in facial expression etc. I also seem to misunderstand tone of voice.

    I conflated this with decision making in general. I hear people say "I had this feeling about them" where I would say "They seem OK, thus far, but I reserve judgment." 

Reply
  • over 1 year ago
    Ice Swimmer said:
    I am very wary of new people and need 5 or 6 longish meetings before I can form an opinion. Studies say that for instance in a job interview the interviewer makes a decision within a minute or so.

    Re-reading my message, I realised that I didn't highlight my real area of concern, which I have quoted above.

    By not making more than the briefest of eye contact and looking away from people, and otherwise just not noticing, do I miss the cues that people use e.g. body language, small differences in facial expression etc. I also seem to misunderstand tone of voice.

    I conflated this with decision making in general. I hear people say "I had this feeling about them" where I would say "They seem OK, thus far, but I reserve judgment." 

Children
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