Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, I’ve not posted before. I’m 33F, self diagnosed many years ago with a family history strong enough that I don’t feel the need for a official diagnosis (although I’m feeling the need to defend myself unprompted soooo) anyway, I’ve recently realised I think I’m in autistic burnout, my job is increasingly stressful, my father is terminally ill (complicated relationship), and I’m moving house in a couple of weeks as my partner and I have just bought our own house. I’m currently on a week off work attempting to get my overwhelming anxiety under control and I know I need to be getting my house sorted and packed and I have no idea how to go about it so I’m just not doing anything. I think I can really see the effects of the burnout, ie my lack of executive functioning - I stopped prioritising food more than basic nutrition, masking was becoming increasingly hard, especially talking appropriately around my superiors, I lost the ability to complete tasks or focus when multitasking and hyper focus were my things, I’m completely exhausted, but the one I really need help with is my house. I’ve let it get into such a state; there’s stuff everywhere, it’s not even clean anymore, nothing is in the right room and everywhere I look is just overwhelming clutter. I’ll put one thing in a bin bag and I feel exhausted and have to stop. We’ve got so much furniture packed in Tetris style that there’s no where to clear a space for boxes. I’ve already decided that recycling or selling stuff is too much, which pains me, but I can’t be separating stuff. Any tips would be really really helpful, I so want to feel productive. For info, my partner works 2 jobs so not around a lot and pretty sure he has ADHD so we’re a great combo for a shiny minimalist house, not. Thank you
Moving house is such a massive change, in particular for people who struggle with change. Even when it's a positive thing. When we moved, we didn't sort through things and brought EVERYTHING with us. It's really really hard so I know what you are going through, especially when there othe stuff going on. I didn't realise at the time how hard it actually was and i had never heard of executive function or burnout. I really don't know what to suggest. I think in times of uncertainty we crave some sort of order but this can be really difficult when we haven't got the energy to do it or know where to start.
I don't have any practical tips other than is there anyone you can ask for help? When you get to the other side, try and allocate an area for clutter then you can sort through it in your own time. Don't be hard on yourself. I find now i try and "go with the flow" a bit more, which sometimes seems to go against the grain of my being. (Accept the house is a tip but its only a temporary situation. If you dont get every thing done at one end, it can be sorted at the other...). Things dont happen instantly and if you are in burmout it will take longer. Give yourself time and practise self care (I found watching fsmilitar shows or indulging in an area of interest gave me a break). We are still finding places for things after 5 years. Having a house is an ongoing labour of love. Good luck.