Published on 12, July, 2020
I could never understand why my mum never told us she loved us never hugged us, was often cruel to us. To this day at 94 years old and being cared for very well by my sisters, she is difficult. She is a good woman but often horrible. We have been kind and caring to her and it has been very difficult. In the 1960's she had a stay in a mental hospital, we were placed in care. She was very anxious. She has been particularly cruel to my brother. She has been very anxious, has poor social skills, and an be so direct it is offensive.
We needed her. Everything is now becoming clearer.
Now i think of it, we had a severely disabled cousin, his sister shows symptoms of autism, lacks social skills, isolation
Do you have an autistic parent? X
i am sure my mother was also autistic. She never said she loved me, never hugged me and any birthday cards received were signed 'from <name>' "because mother is my job not my name".yes ... i have issues.
Thank you for your messages. Many of us share similar experiences. This is not to blame, but to make sense of our lives and where we are now.
I now understand that we suffered adverse childhood experiences. We too have "issues" although i dont like the word to describe our difficulties, challenges whatever. But through this as children, we are lovely. This experience on top of a suspected ASD has proved extremely challenging. We protected our mums feelings, respected her, but it felt that no one was looking out for us.
At the moment i am going over it all in my head far too much, along with the realusation that there is an ASD present. I am the youngest of 6 children at 59 years old. The year i was born my brother who is 14 months older than me had meningitis. The same year father was sent to prison. Approximately 3 years later my mum went to stay in a mental home for short stay, she came home. We were placed in a childrens home. Sometime shortly after we had a couple of stays in foster care, when our mum had to go to hospital. Our home was infested with cocroaches.
My opinion for some is that undiagnosed ASD is harmful. Being told you have a petsonality disorder, social anxiety etc and repeatedly prescribed different antidepressants. What my brother needed was consistency and support. I have tried, but it is very upsetting and i am limited to what i can do. We are like the two little children still, and no one to look after us. My brother is very bright, above average IQ, but has been blighted by racing thoughts all his adult life, which has led to him isolating himself. I cant even be sure that he has taken any medication regularly in the past due to his lack of memory and organisation skills.
I cant help but feel i have to do something. Hence pursuing an ASD diagnosis for us both. Help us make sense of what is going on. I am hopeing my brother will then be prescribed a suitable medication and recieve some type of regular support. Perhaps a CPN or something. He is 60, but i feel like he is 6.
I read that some with an ASD feel others pain, i do terribly. I also have an urgency to make things better for others. This has proved difficult for me. X